Subsided Gravity

change

2010-08-10T10:50:00.001-05:00

Over the past four months, change has been the most active verb in my world. Some examples:

New job

New roof

New walls

New carpet

New cable provider

New phone

New computer(s)

New office

New baby (on the way)

New Twitter feed to manage

New FB page(s)/group/profile

New, new, different, different.

And, no, I am not alone. We are all aware of the consistency and omnipresence of change.

However, we should be mindful not to let such consistency so easily stray to apathy. Not in our own lives, nor in our relationships with our co-workers.

Apathy about change? Apathy about consistency? Think of the last time you purposefully watched the sun rise and/or set. Apathy, unfortunately, reigns where consistency exists.

So think, this week, about your peers, your direct reports, your colleagues, and be aware of their personal shifting; though you do not need to hear the list of change that is occurring in each life, be aware that change is happening, nonetheless. When someone reaches out, or reaches in; seems short-tempered or long-winded; passes by your message or passes on your message, remember that change might just be the agent at work behind the scenes.

Sometimes a penny's-worth of change is not enough for us to notice. But perhaps it should be.

And, in case you missed it, the sun did rise this morning; just wish I had been mindful enough to see it.

shanti,
mjh

fishing

2010-06-30T11:29:00.002-05:00

I had the great pleasure a few weeks ago to visit my faux-favorite place on the planet: the fishing pier on Okaloosa Island in Florida. Now, I say faux-favorite because my actual favorite place is the fishing pier just down the road at Pensacola Beach; however, the pier on Okaloosa is a nice substitute when I can't make the real pilgrimage.

I should state up front that I don't fish. So why is the pier my zen spot? Simple: emotional memory. It was a first, of sorts, for me. I have never been able to put my finger on the exact 'why', but I have an attachment to that place that exceeds all others.

Visiting the pier got me thinking about other attachments that I have, and more interestingly, those that I don't. We build attachments to many of our firsts: our first car, our first home, the first kiss. However, this phenomenon does not seem to apply to technology, and that was an epiphany that I was not expecting.

First internet experience: AOL, and I had no clue what to do.
First cell phone: cannot even recall the look or make.
First web page: a geocities mess with spinning graphics and a list of some of my favorite things.
Even my first Tweet (only 1100 ago) totally escapes me.

Contrast those to:

My first car: red Nissan Maxima, and I can still smell it.
First book I ever loved: Watership Down (in 7^th grade)
First song I ever obsessed over: "You're the Inspiration" by Chicago; at times, it still gets to me.
First room of my own: Rast Hall dorm room, and I could draw every inch by memory.
First love: well...let's leave that alone.

So is there a Truth here? Do you find the same pattern in your life? Do you have attachments to the digital world that are as strong (or even less strong, but present) as those in the physical? I do not.

Unlike the fishing pier, I do not have a resting place online. Sure, I have sites that I like, sites that educate and inform me, sites that provide me with a service I appreciate. But when life needs respite, it's the real world that I run to.

If I ever go missing, rest assured that I will not be browsing the web, searching for pictures of a pier; instead, I will be found standing on one, far away from land. And I will have found the piece/peace that I need.

shanti,
mjh

breaking

2010-06-10T15:31:00.000-05:00

One of the things that drives me crazy about my 3yo, and also one of the things I admire most about her, is her immense curiosity for physical boundaries. In other words, she likes to break stuff. Give her a CD, and she'll bend it 'til it snaps; if she happens upon a magazine, she'll tear it seven different ways; a new toy rarely lasts. It's the beauty of childhood, right? Nothing is taken at face value, and everything must be tested.

It's one of the many child-like qualities that we should emulate in business.

Now, I would not suggest running around breaking things just for the experience. We already know most of the physical boundaries of our workspaces; but is there room to push these boundaries?

Perhaps today would be a good day to test some limits, question the rules of a relationship, poke outside the lines, just to see what happens.

Sure, you might not find what you are looking for, and sure, some things might get broken in the process; however, at least you will know and understand the bounds a little better.

And who knows? Perhaps there is treasure just beyond the lines. Someone has to find the pearls; it might as well be you.

shanti,
mjh

medium

2010-06-09T08:16:00.002-05:00

"There ought to be clowns"
"Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone"
"She tells herself it's research for her next and greatest role"
"I wrote to ask if we could maybe meet again before the spring"
"God"

It's hard for me to separate these lyrics from the music that accompanies them. 99% of the time, they do not appear alone. There are instruments; there is passion; there is context, both in narration and inflection. They are part of a story, not only in the original composition but also in my personal narrative. And the moments appear in numerous other narratives as well: at live events, on physical media, school dances, within movies, perhaps at your lowest or highest times, etc.

As stand-alone statements, I'm just not sure of their impact. Perhaps the last, though inflection and context would still be everything. The point, however, is that every one of these (and many, many more) phrases mean a great deal to me; they make me feel; they *work*, and they *work* precisely because of the medium through which I encouter them.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I struggle with repurposing Twitter posts on Facebook, posting status updates through Foursquare, encountering art on the street vs. in a gallery. The medium and the message are inextricably linked. (Sure, we've heard that "the medium is the message," but the 5th quote up there proves that wrong...at least for me)

This is nothing profound or groundbreaking, but it is something that we all should remember now and again. In these days of multi-channel communication, where we encounter and pass along information through every sense and at every turn, take a moment to make completely sure that the message you are broadcasting *works* via your chosen platform.

Sure, we want a universal message. Just remember that the universe is only unified in name. Once you begin exploring, you might just find that Twitter hashtags on Facebook, rough humor on LinkedIn, sarcasm in print, etc. is actually quite alienating.

shanti,
mjh

p.s.--10 points for anyone who can place the lyrics. Points only, though, b/c Google kinda ruins the fun
p.s.--that last one's totally not fair, but take a stab at it anyways. There could be some interesting answers.

4.leaves

2010-06-06T18:53:00.004-05:00

If there is one four-leaf clover in a patch the size of a basketball court, I can find it. Sounds bold, but it is true. I have found one four-leafer a day every day for the past week (and one with 5 leaves...that one kinda scared me) ; it's a skill I have mastered over the past decade or so. And I think it is time to put it on my resume.

You see, finding the unique among the common requires concentration, attention to detail, patience, a little bit of luck, persistence, and a gut feeling. Sure, I can try and show these qualities by listing jobs that I have had, the qualities required to do certain tasks in those positions, random corporate projects that showcased one or the other; however, the truth is that I can find four-leaf clovers with the best of them. And there is something of value there.

So, what off-the-beaten path skill do you have? What human trick puts you in a league unto yourself? What can you do that I can't? Figure that out and leverage your talent. Put it on your resume, your personal development plan, heck, even your email signature.

We live in an age where 'job skills' are not strictly defined by what degree you have, what positions you have filled, or what titles you can claim.

If you can solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded, can spot a typo from 50 feet away, have perfect pitch, know every artistic period, can balance on a chair without touching the ground, can calm a difficult child...we might need you. Regardless, we need to know about you.

It's time to change the corporate 'you' that exists on paper. Let me know what sets you apart from the pack. What makes you a four-leaf clover in your company? Since you are here, I am claiming that I have already found you.

shanti,
mjh

EAVB_DFEHXATFNB

socks.revisited

2010-06-02T14:24:00.001-05:00

i.love.socks. Irony? Contradiction? See my earlier blog post and you can decide. Regardless of my NN-rant back in January, I recently discovered a brilliant utility for these coverings of the feet. Their ability to refresh, change, and reset.

While traveling recently, I was in a funk. I was back at the airport, about to board yet another flight. Though I had found my recent travels to be fun, enlightening, and socially healthy, the constant change of cabin pressure can funkify someone rather quickly. While sitting on a bench, just past security, I noticed two business traveler types who had unzipped their bags and were in the process of changing their socks. Always one to be a first follower (at least of those who seem to have the right experience/viewpoint), I decided to do the same.

It was quite transcendental.

Turns out that the simple act of donning new, clean socks can radically shift your current situation.

Literally, it's a simple action. On the larger scale, however, it's a much more difficult process. When you find yourself weighted down at work, stressed, or just blue, it is unlikely that you have the capacity to change the larger issues. Emails, meetings, presentations, experiments, red tape, 'the matrix': all of these have the dual role of maintaining order and, at times, ensuring that you keep your socks on, however uncomfortable they might be.

However, we are all aware that it's the little things that get us through the day; it's the actions and environment that you do have control over that will shape your day; sometimes, it's a simple change that can radically shift the place that you are in.

You might not have the ability to change the structure (i.e., wardrobe) of your current team, but those socks you are wearing, those are yours. Why not change them? You might be surprised at how you feel.

shanti,
mjh

sacrifice

2010-05-13T10:42:00.002-05:00

My flight out of Charlotte was oversold last week. No big surprise there: small plane, popular route. They asked for volunteers (I think the initial rate was $100); a lady with whom I had been chatting (we'll call her Mandi) made a couple of calls, then waltzed up to the ticket agent to volunteer her seat. Case closed, problem solved, but not exactly.

Soon after nesting into my 5A window seat, she boarded the plane. I guess they didn't need her afterall. So much for the $100. At the end of the day, however, Mandi was making the flight, and you would think that all would be chipper. But it was not so.

You see, Mandi had (initially) the benefit of a reservation in seat 1A, the most coveted by The Amazing Race standards. There's more legroom up there (even on this smaller jet), and getting on and off is a breeze. It's a good seat; surely a win.

Now, however, she had lost her seat and was relegated to the backmost row, the last seat, that one sitting next to the lone bathroom. Mandi, by 1A standards, was now distant and trapped, banished to the tail. Moreover, her carry-on bag had been taken; there was also no room for it anymore, as those of us fortunate to board early had filled the overhead space.

So, let's rewind....

Delta needed volunteers; Mandi sacrificed her travel plans for the benefit of others (nudged surely by the $100 offer). Her sacrifice ended up costing her her prime seat, the proximity of her carry-on, and the convenience of a quick hop-off the plane once we landed.

I doubt Mandi will be volunteering again anytime soon.

In our companies, we often ask people to sacrifice, to help out, to pitch in, to volunteer time or energy or knowledge. Once given, how do we treat them? Do we treat those who help us with the same kindness and respect that we asked of them? Or do we focus on our need, grab what was given, and lose sight of those who gave?

My hope is that your sacrifice is rewarded, or at the very least is not punished. Every time we take a 1A and reassign them to 25C, we, as a company, lose. And the turbulence is not soon forgotten.

shanti,
mjh

attitude

2010-04-28T20:36:00.000-05:00

It is hard raising a 3-year-old. I am constantly having difficult conversations, teaching difficult lessons, and, moreover, facing the reflection of such.

"Lily, you really should be grateful for what you have; many children do not have so many toys." "Why, daddy?" -- I have no good answer;

"Lily, get in here and clean up your toys." -- as I try not to turn around and look at the messy kitchen;

"Lily, you need to get better at sharing." -- as I hoard money, tangible stuff, and scrape the leftovers into the trash;

"Lily, you don't need to watch anymore TV today." -- and I know that, once she is in bed, I will turn it right back on.

"Lily, it's not that big of a deal." -- I am pretty sure I said while mentally cursing the driver in front of me.

The most pressing reflection, however, has to do with attitude.

"Lily, you need to focus more on the positive aspects of the day and not on the minor problems."

I'll admit it; I have been pretty critical of my company lately. It's part of why my corporate blog has been more silent these days; too much to say, but too hesitant to say any of it. Some of it is just personal, and personal it shall stay.

However, 1) I have a job, 2) it is a good job, 3) it is an important job, 4) I am better today than I was five years ago because of this job.

Today, I am grateful; today, I am proud; today, I am focusing on the positive. As they say, the future is unknown and necessarily distant, but today, today, I can focus on the undeniable good.

I urge you to do the same.

shanti,
mjh

mail

2010-04-26T08:26:00.001-05:00

My to-do list is out of control; my guess is that you can relate. No matter how much I try to get done in a day or week, it seems that the list never really gets any shorter. However distressing this might be, I still find comfort in cutting down the list whenever possible. Tonight, I have crossed another thing off, and the Truth that it reveals could alter your day.

Two days ago, I received my Census form. I did my part after dinner this evening, and now it sits, definitely crossed off of the list, out in my mailbox.

Tasks such as this always cause me to pause. The official to-do states that I need to fill out the Census and mail it. Part one of that requirement is complete; part two...I guess it's not quite fulfilled, as I know it is still out there, in the metal box. Thankfully, the faith that I have in its completion is enough to settle my nerves.

I imagine that being a manager feels a lot like this. The task is not officially complete yet, but I have confidence that the person assigned to help me complete it (in my case, my mail-carrier) will do so without pause or incident. I trust that she will take every step necessary to fulfill her duty or will alert me to any hindrances. I have enough faith in the process and the person hired to take charge of that process, that I, almost without thinking, already consider it done.

I sincerely hope that anyone in my personal chain of command, and in yours, employs such trust; likewise I sincerely hope that I, and you, have earned it.

I don't believe that I have ever thanked my mail-carrier for a job well done; I think tomorrow that will change. How about you? If you rely on others, have faith in others, believe in others to get the job done, why not make them aware of your appreciation today?

Yes, I just put something on your to-do list. Apologies for that, but I trust that you will cross it off soon enough.

shanti,
mjh

constructs

2010-04-21T09:16:00.001-05:00

As an HBE, I spend a lot of time constructing; while on the phone, I imagine faces, places, scenes, expressions, etc. Such constructs are subconscious and necessary. If we have never met in person, my brain instantly begins to fill in your details, based on nothing more than your voice, name, personality, and any other details it can glean from our interaction. You get a couple of eyes, a mouth, some hair, all by default. The more advanced process of how person X is drawn and how h/she differs from person Y is way too complex for my consciousness to begin to explore. Suffice it to say, however, that somehow my brain begins to fill in the details, constructing a picture of who you are, and that made-up picture is, for better or worse, who you are when you come to mind.

Recently, my imaginative abilities were put to the test when three of my oft-contacted buddies showed up for Action Labs in New York. Sitting in the hotel restaurant, each waltzed in...looking nothing like what my mind had constructed. Seriously, I was way off of the mark. It greatly surprised me, though it should not have. Having never seen a single picture of these guys, I was destined to be wrong in my vision. And I was.

Though there is a lot to be learned from my mental mistakes, from painting a completely erroneous image based solely on phone conversations, the most interesting thing to me today is that the constructs have disappeared in my mind. When I spoke to Bob recently, I saw Bob; there was no trace of bizzaro-Bob, the Hollowell-ized version that had been growing unchecked for the past several months. Same thing with Pat; when I hear his voice on the other end of the line, I can see him.

There is a great value in the Truth. It has a way of erasing the falsities that we construct; it's hard to ignore; and it has power. It is so powerful, in fact, that it instantaneously obliterated my pre-conceptions, and that is usually a very good thing. The fuzziness gained detail, and the generalities became specific. I am very grateful for the opportunity to correct my flawed construct of these guys, and I hope to do the same for many of you.

Just be aware that facing the Truth, though positive in so many respects, is an irreversible position. Remember to take a deep breath before opening your eyes, check your preconceptions at the door, and let's get better at letting the Truth work its magic.

'Transparency' is such a buzz-word these days, and the concept has its merit; however, let's be sure we are seeing with clarity before we try and make the Truth clear for others.

shanti,
mjh

play

2010-04-19T08:42:00.001-05:00

If you have 30 minutes, I highly recommend watching this video. It will potentially blow your mind, which is always a positive experience when done in moderation.

shanti,
mjh

http://g4tv.com/lv3/44277

weight

2010-04-12T09:02:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday night, I checked back into my hotel room and accepted my fate: snowed in; no way out. I was not thrilled with the situation, though the quiet after the storm (both literally and metaphorically) was quite nice. Four days of Action Labs had passed, and a calmness had descended on the IBM Palisades. I took some time that night to sit out on the hotel balcony; I watched the snow continue to fall, stared out at the monochromatic landscape, and listened to the utter quietness.

It was during one of these cold, centering sessions when I was introduced to a phenomenon not often present in the South. Loud cracks, sharp breaks, distant crashing sounds. It took me a few minutes to discern the noise, then I saw it happen.

A perfectly healthy-looking branch, weighted down by the snow, just fell free from its tree and crashed to the ground. Weight; I have seen this before. Actually, I am seeing it now at my company.

Weight, either tangible or intangible, can be bothersome, can slow you down, and, given enough time and inattention, can literally render you unable to maintain.

So, how are you doing? Have you checked your weight lately? Have you checked the weight of those around you?

Managers, if you do not have an accurate idea of the weight your team members are carrying, both as a team and especially individually, it's time to check in. When the branch has fallen, when the weight has done its damage, there rarely is a chance to go back. The crack, break, and crash come fast; you'd be wise to see it coming.

And if you, dear reader, cannot carry one more thing, if you are weighed down to the point of cracking, start shouting. We are a company, after all, and that implies togetherness and sharing. If you crack and fall, well, the landscape just wouldn't be the same.

It's worth thinking about: If you fall in the forest, and no one hears it...

shanti,
mjh

reinforcement

2010-04-09T16:39:00.001-05:00

It was a hard decision this past week, but my wife and I changed our daughter to a new pediatrician. The reasons were valid and solid, though we were unsure how the newness would sit with our three-year-old; she, like many her age, cherishes repetition and order. However, through much preparation and visual aids, and despite all of our nightmarish fears, Lily acted the champ. She followed directions; she happily jumped through the proverbial hoops of a well-child check-up, and she never once seemed distraught over the change in venue or face.

The cause of this angelic appointment is really unknown. Was it the pep talks; was it the new toys; was it the promise of a treat? There is no way of knowing. The result, however, of this unforeseen event is very clear: positive reinforcement (for us). Not that we should change Dr's on a yearly basis, but that we, as parents, made the right decision. This parental positive reinforcement does not surface often, so it comes highly prized. And it feels good.

Which leads me to consider, again, the opportunity for and effects of positive reinforcement in the corporate world. I have blogged about this before, and I still believe that presence is perhaps the single most important form of reinforcement that exists. Surely, presence alone is often not enough; that is why we have bonuses, recognition, awards. However, even those somewhat more tangible boosts are nothing without the foundational sense of company and of belonging.

Sending me presents reminds me that I am here; sending me your presence reminds me that you are here, too; that I am not alone.

So for those of you who stop in and read this blog, I offer my thanks; multiple thanks to those who take the time to post a comment. Your presence, whether I know you are here or not, is of utmost importance to me and to the enterprise as a whole. Obviously, reflecting back on this post, I would prefer to know that you were here (just say 'wasuuuuup' in the comment box); however, even if you do not acknowledge your presence here on my blog, take the time to acknowledge yourself to someone else today. Better than that, reveal your presence to someone who might have completely forgotten your nearness, your actualization (as an HBE, I know this disconnect all too well).

In my previous post on presence, I called on my readers to "take the time today to remind those who rely on us, those we rely on, those we support and are supported by, that we are here"; today, however, perhaps relying on proximity, whether physical or spiritual, is not enough. Today, why not think of someone that you have not been present with for quite some time, someone long lost or simply far away, and be present with him/her.

And do it within your company walls; that's harder, and you need a challenge. Make a phone call to that guy you used to work with; shoot an email out to check on a distant co-worker; hug a blogger. :o)

Oftentimes, absence is misunderstood; presence, however, rarely is. Be present, not only with yourself, not only with your clique, but also with the 'others'.

And if your presence does not motivate, if the relationship is immune to reinforcement simply though reminded companionship, go ahead and offer a Hershey's Kiss; it works for my daughter.

shanti,
mjh

dishes

2010-03-16T15:25:00.002-05:00

When I got married 6+ years ago, my wife brought more than her tangible stuff into my life. She also brought her habits, her processes, her strategy, time-honored and -honed traditions that were second nature to her, but left me wondering what I had strolled into. This feeling is, no doubt, familiar to many. One of these subtle tactics has taught me a valuable lesson: the power of The Soak.

I am an elbow-grease guy, someone who has always subscribed to the mantra: 'To succeed is easy; simply work four times harder than everyone else.' You could say that working hard is in my DNA; hence, I have never met a dish that I couldn't clean. Sure, sometimes it would take a brillo pad or a razor blade, but no amount of dried-on ketchup, cemented-on cereal, or burnt-on whatever could stand in my way. Roll up the sleeves, get the water good and hot, and dive in. Apparently, this tactic is not universal.

Three days after our honeymoon, I walked into the kitchen and saw them: dishes. Dishes in a state I had never in my life encountered; they were not waiting to be cleaned, they were not already cleaned, they were in some sort of holding pattern, like someone started cleaning them and then just disappeared. I was staring at Dish Limbo, and it unsettled me.

I'll admit it: one night in the months following my exposure to The Soak, alone in the house, I broke down and tried it out. And it worked. Unbelievably well, in fact. The rice, it just rubbed right off; the ketchup just melted away. Apparently, I married into a 'work smarter' philosophy without even knowing. In the hard-scrub vs. smart-soak battle, letting the water do the work for you...well. that will win every time.

In my company, we work hard. We tag, upload, edit, market, sell, design, manufacture, maintain, create, link, manage, research, value-add, retool, improve, think, and rethink long into the night, oftentimes too long into the night. And that is not a bad thing.

What is potentially hazardous, however, is if we do not take the time to listen to others who might just offer up another way of accomplishing these same tasks. If we do not stop and breathe, pick our heads up and look around, notice that our partners do not have the same dishpan hands as we do...if we fail to capitalize on the power of the tools we rely on, be they water or CPU, then we are the ones who will ultimately tire out, which in our business means losing the race.

Oftentimes, business send out a call to arms, an active push, a fierce and forceful rallying cry. Just make sure that you take a breath between battles, take notice of what you are fighting with and what you are fighting against, and realize that perspiration is a good thing, unless it drowns you.

Sprinkle some smart-work amongst your hard-work, and let's take back what is ours, not only by rolling up our sleeves, but also by taking a good look at our hands. If you see more wrinkles than normal, maybe it's time to let things soak for a little while.

shanti,
mjh

trash

2010-02-16T20:31:00.000-06:00

This evening (ok, several nights ago), my three-year old daughter pulled an empty kitchen trash bag from its box under the kitchen counter. She proceeded to leave it on the floor, where it sat for about an hour. During out post-dinner clean-up, she picked it up, showed it to me, and asked me "Is this trash?" Three hours later, I still do not know how to answer that question. Surely, it is trash because we throw it in the garbage can on a regular bases; surely, it's not because, well, it's a perfectly good (and empty) trash bag.

Is a trash bag, trash?

I feel that there is a Truth buried somewhere in the answer to this question, a metaphorical Truth relating to the professional space. Something about usefulness, purpose, and duty; however, tonight my sinuses are inflamed to the point where I cannot think through the haze. So, I turn this post over to you, dear reader.

Can you see the Truth here? Can you solve this quandry? If so, please let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts/opinions/metaphors because it really has my head spinning.

shanti,
mjh

dis.ease

2010-02-16T10:10:00.000-06:00

A couple of quick bits:

I've had issues with Psoriasis for many years now. It's never been too much of a bother (though I admit the patchy elbows and shins are less than attractive). By and large, however, I have gone about my life pretty normally. That is (or was) until last year.
On a seemingly unrelated note, about 5 months ago, I became quickly acquainted with sick days. I contracted the much-hyped H1N1 virus and somehow also managed to layer strep throat on top of that. Yah, it was not a fun time.

So what do these two facts have to do with each other? At the time, I assumed nothing; turns out I was wrong. The flu/strep combination turned my mild skin issue into a moderate-to-severe dermatological phenomenon. Being homebased has never been so welcomed.

Who knew that Psoriasis was an autoimmune disease, not simply a skin irritation? Not me. Who knew that an infection like Strep could worsen, even trigger, skin inflammation? Who would connect such seemingly disparate dots?

An organization, a company, a team, a workgroup...these are all organisms with systems; sometimes these systems are interrelated, and sometimes they are not, at least that is how it often appears. The Truth, however, most likely lives within the grey area between these extremes. Everything within your team (and within the larger corporate structure) is related, sometimes not as closely as it seems, sometimes much more so.

We should remember that if our team is currently sick, if there is a patch of ill-will or dissension, we are not immune from its effects, regardless of how far away we position ourselves. And if we target/treat the cause (or think that we have), we might only be temporarily fixing the surface issue. The effects can be long-lasting and brutal in their resilience.

The company-as-body metaphor is certainly not a new one; many articles have been written on how the 'head' and the 'hands' need to work in concert. However, we must also pay attention to the dis.ease of the body. To be blunt, don't be so distracted by an illness in the throat that you fail to notice how it affects the skin.

So wash your hands in the real-world, but metaphorically, don't let yourself off so easy.

shanti,
mjh

normal(cy)

2010-02-09T12:45:00.001-06:00

Several years ago, I was in a raucous crowd at a UAB/Tulane basketball game. As a rabid UAB basketball fan, this was not abnormal for me. Also not-unlike me (at the time), I relished every opportunity to poke at, yell at, and throw verbal darts at the other team. On this particular night, it seemed too easy. A few minutes into the first half, I stared in disbelief at this:

That, dear reader, is (was) the mascot for Tulane. I literally could not believe my eyes when this 'thing' stepped out on the court, somehow in support of its team. Tulane's mascot? The Green Wave. "Seriously?" I asked my buddy. "A color and water? That is their statement to the world?"

After spending much time harping on the apparent (to me) stupidity of this choice of mascot, and after hurling many vocal assaults at the players and foam-thingy that was trying to move around the court, my buddy knocked me down with a simple revelation.

"You do realize," he stated, "the nickname of the team you grew up loving, your beloved University of Alabama, is the Crimson Tide. A comparable color, but certainly a less intimidating water event."

Sometimes we fail to realize that our personal "normal" is not universal. What seems common to you, what seems logical or obvious, can be the most foreign concept/Truth to others. Sometimes, we even fail to realize what we deem obvious or normal until someone (hopefully with love) points it out.

Save yourself the humiliation, and realize that your unique normal is just that: unique (though not at all normal). Don't assume that anyone, not your customers, colleagues, or companions, sees the world through your eyes. Yes, the singular specialness of you is to be celebrated; however, it is also to be viewed with caution.

If I stop to realize that your Green is my Crimson, and if you stop to realize that my Tide is your Wave, then maybe we can both learn something about normalcy (even if it is normalcy through the ludicrous). Bottom line: there is no normal, and we would be wise to realize it as unattainable.

Take a minute to rethink your assumptions, recalibrate your (leadership) compass, and toss out your idea of what is normal. No one really agrees with you.

shanti,
mjh

isit

2010-02-03T15:28:00.001-06:00

'And is it
the hen's nightmare, or her secret dream,
to scratch the ground forever
eating the minutes out of the grains of sand?'
--G.Kinnell

shanti,
mjh

hidden

2010-02-02T09:57:00.000-06:00

'Hidden Mickeys'; ever heard of them? If you have spent any time around a Disney fanatic, you probably have. They are, in large part, important to Disney extremists...and they should be important to us, as well.

In brief, HMs are "representations of Mickey Mouse that have been inserted subtly into the design of rides, attractions, and other locations in Disney theme parks and elsewhere on Disney properties." (Wikipedia)

I must admit that I love them; I love the concept, the creativity, the course. But even if I did not have a soft spot for all types of subcouncious indoctrination, their presence begs an important question. Why are they there? What purpose do they serve? Certainly, these special touches are not economically-driven. No one pays $1K to spend their vacation looking for images of a cartoon character carved into a rock or disguised on a leapord statue. They are not mandated or "official"; legend has it that HMs just started appearing as inside jokes amongst the designers. And they are likely not used for subcouncious indoctrination; if you happen upon one...you're already there.

So what, then, can we learn from the HM phenomenon? Turns out, there is an important lesson hidden here. Simply put, it's about detail.

Let's say that you are spending a few nights at the Animal Kingdom Lodge on WDW property. While scoping out the decor, you notice this, tucked away amongst the rocks:

I imagine that most people would assume that a micro-detail such as this, would naturally translate into a feeling of comfort with the macro. In other words, if a company spends the time to insure the tiniest of elements are tended to, you generally have a feeling that the big stuff has been taken care of. To quote John Wooden, "It's the little details that are vital."

Sure, details are important in life, but they are critical in business. Minor points will make or break a company, a team, an employee. Bottom line: we should all be paying more attention to the details.

I am not suggesting that we sneak in Knowledge Bursts throughout the country, or even throughout the buildings (though I, of course, would love it). I do suggest, however, that every one of us has the ability, and even the responsibility, to make each one of our projects, our products, our processes special and complete, down to the last element.

Rumor has it that hidden mickeys are personal (instead of corporate), inspired and created by the designers themselves. They exist as a calling card of sorts, letting you know that the artist has created something unique and special, and that he or she had you, the audience, in mind.

Do your internal/external customers feel this way? Perhaps they can; certainly, they should.

Find a detail during your workday, something that no one has asked you to do, perhaps something that no one even realizes that you can do, and do it. Take the time to add a special and important detail to your process, product, interaction, design, etc. Hide an extra moment's work to your product; someone will notice.

It might not be a hidden Mickey, but you just might win the appreciation of many.

shanti,
mjh

p.s.--ok, that "many"/Minnie pun just might be the worst thing I have ever written, but I couldn't resist. Apologies.

moment(s)

2010-01-20T10:14:00.000-06:00

As we walked through the gates of the Magic Kingdom on Sunday, my 3-year-old daughter got a surprise; the lady who took her ticket looked her in the eye and said sweetly, "Happy Birthday, Lily". I was slightly impressed; my daughter, however, was amazed. In one fleeting moment, Lily realized that she, on this day, at this place, was special.

Then...it happened again, and again, and again. She was wished a happy birthday over 50 times during our day at Disney, each time with a smile and a moment. Every single 'cast member' that crossed her path, from the cashiers to the ride-runners, from the 'real' characters (i.e., Pluto and Ariel) to the virtual ones (i.e., Crush and Nemo), from the Voices of Liberty to the robot trash can, every one of them called her by name, looked in her eyes, made her feel special. Consumer/parental satisfaction? Check.

However, I was not struck by the 'customer service' or 'user experience', though I probably should have been. No, what kept amazing me was the consistent and total buy-in from the Disney employees. Though hundreds (probably thousands during peak times) of people celebrate their special days within Mickey's walls, I saw no hint of fatigue, no eye-rolling, no ignoring, nothing at all to make me feel like my daughter was one-of-many, instead of one-in-a-million.

She was, to each employee, special, if only for that moment when we crossed their path.

We talk a lot about 'evangelists' these days. We survey our customers, we survey our employees, we survey our management, all in an attempt to classify who the detractors are, who the evangelists are, and who lies somewhere in between. We crunch the numbers, assume that there is Truth in them, and present/spin them to make a statement to the masses, both internally and externally. But to what end? I have yet to find a number that has any special qualities, let alone one that can shift the tide.

Perhaps instead of pointing to numbers, figures based on questions that are less Truthful than vague, we should look to moments. Instead of asking ourselves how many employees fit within a certain fabricated category, we should ask ourselves how many of them feel special, how many of them feel valued, how many of them feel unique.

Numbers, graphs, figures: yes, they all have a place. But so do I, and so do my colleagues, and so do you.

Take a minute to ask yourself how many of your employees are special to you; take a minute to make a moment for one of them; then take a minute to watch what happens.

If we spent more time making moments and less time making surveys, well...maybe we wouldn't need surveys to locate evangelists. My guess is that they would reveal themselves.

shanti,
mjh

humbug

2010-01-18T08:57:00.001-06:00

My neighbor's Christmas lights are still up. And they are on. It's 10:30 pm on January 8th, and their holiday decorations are still lighting up my normally-dark piece of the world. It's likely that you are faced with similar sparkling reminders of late 2009, and perhaps you are faced with similar angst. Don't get me wrong; I'm a huge fan of the holiday season, but seriously, it's over, right?

Interestingly, this phenomenon is not relegated to "joyeux noel" (or "bom natal" for my Indian brothers and sisters; at least, I think those are right). It crosses all of our minds when we hear about the TV show that we have long since stopped watching being canceled; the web platform that no one uses anymore finally being shut down; the band that we haven't thought about since our youth that is still touring; the news of the once-famous actor, still using his catch-phrase, who just passed away. We ask ourselves, isn't that, wasn't that, shouldn't that have been over?

This momentary pause begs the question, why do we (and I think we all do in our own way) continue to hang on to a past that has...well...passed?

There is a danger in not recognizing the fleetingness of moments and in holding on too long to an internal, personal definition of 'self'. It is said that you are not who you think you are, but instead, you are who others think you are. In plainspeak: you might think your band still rocks, but take a look at the audience; you might think you are spreading Christmas cheer all year 'round, but take a quick poll of your neighborhood; or more to the point, you might think you are leading, but you try listening to those who are (supposed to be) following.

If you, as a leader, are not adapting, evolving, shifting with the tides, then you are likely not leading at all. If your metaphoric Christmas lights are still up even though the moment has passed, then you need to check your credibility; your team might still be following, but the angst, snickers, or finger-pointing might be following, too. Just because your team is accompanying you does not mean that you are leading them.

Tomorrow morning, I will smile and wave at my neighbor, like I always do. But I will also roll my eyes as I walk back down the driveway, as I always do. Thankfully, he wouldn't care. He has no stake in my opinion of him; you, however, you just might.

shanti,
mjh

weather

2010-01-08T21:30:00.003-06:00

It snowed here today in Tennessee; we had less than an inch of accumulation at my house. Yes, that's snow to us. Every school in the area was closed today; several businesses shut down early; medical appointments were canceled; the shelves were bare at the local supermarkets. This phenomenon is part of my culture.

On the other hand, we had numerous tornado warnings in 2009, and no one really blinked. School was not canceled when tornadoes threatened to appear; grocery stores functioned per the status quo. Having survived the devastating F-4 of 1998 in Huntsville, AL, tornadoes do not phase me, nor my kind. 22 people were killed (one of them, my friend's brother), 500 injured, hundreds of homes wrecked. Tornadoes are a fact of life in the South; snow, however, is not.

So, to me, those of you who panic over tornados...well, that's just silly; those who panic over snow, I completely understand. Perhaps, you are the opposite. Maybe an earthquake is no big deal to you, but it would freak the pants off of me. Hurricanes, no problem, but threaten to put me in the path of a wildfire, and I would lose it. Weather, and how we react to it, is a cultural divide; it's one of the only divides, in fact, that seems PC to discuss. It is not about race, religion, age, gender; it is, quite simply, weather. But it says a lot.

If you chuckle at the seeming overreaction of my town at the threat of snow, that is good. That means that you get the point. If you empathize with our snow freak-out, then that is good, as well. You also understand.

Each of our teams, each of our little cultures inside of this monstrous coporate universe, have a culture. Thankfully, that culture is not built on superficialities such as race or gender. The culture is based on empathy and understanding, skill-sets and competencies, experience and survival. Here in CLP (where I work), if you come to me with a customer's complaint about bleedbars, I totally get it. If you do not understand why EdSched is built the way it is, I understand. It's our culture, and, likely, it is a culture that very few "others" would understand. On the contrary, I read posts on our company site about programs and issues that are foreign enough to me that a 23rd-century being could have penned them.

So, what is the point?

It's simple. Cultural acceptance is not a phenomenon only relegated to the obvious classifications. We have rules, laws even, to make sure that we do not discriminate, nor demonize, those of a different creed, sexual orientation, belief system, age, skin color, etc. Too often, however, we fail to accept those who interpret the weather through a different lens than our own. You might not define 'snow' the same as me; I might scoff at your fear of tornadoes. However, the truth is, there is no right or wrong here; there is only culture.

Remind yourself: though you might not agree with, understand, or even care about the priorities or emotional reactions that are coming from parts of the company-culture that you don't fully understand, that those pieces are valid, important, and necessary to our overall, binding existence.

We are who we are, and we are where we are, because we are who we are. Once we learn to accept the differences in our corporate culture, we will be able to connect on levels very few companies have ever achieved. Then, and only then, will we will finally be able to weather any storm that might befall us.

shanti,

mjh

socks

2010-01-08T21:30:00.001-06:00

i.hate.socks.

Let's just get that out of the way. The reasons will not be foreign to you: they lose themselves, unmatch themselves, rip themselves, and they fall down. Constantly. I believe wholeheartedly that socks are a necessary evil. However, for the sake of fairness, I will not ask you to agree that they are 'evil'; let's compromise and call them a "necessary nuisance" (NN).

NNs are, by definition, bothersome 'things' or tasks that cannot be avoided. Just as I have never found a decent alternative to socks (though this video has given me some ideas), I have also not found acceptable alternatives to many of my NNs here at work: timecards, PDPs, databases, administration, paperwork, etc.; passwords, login IDs, timeouts, VPNs, etc.; clutter, random long emails, phone calls, customers, etc. (I think you get my point). So what is a person to do when faced regularly with thorny 'stuff' that is unavoidable?

Thankfully, we already have a coping mechanism built in; we learn it from our first days on this earth. Dealing with NNs is not really the issue; all of us do it, with or without complaint. Acknowledging them, however, that is the key.

Take some time this week to do just that; let your team know that you know NNs exist, that you are aware of them, and that you think they suck, too. Genuine empathy can break down walls that no amount of logic can touch. This is not misery-loves-company, however; this is leading by example. If you acknowledge, instead of ignore, NNs, and if you handle, not complain about, them, your team will follow. Your team will follow.

There is peace in true empathy; there is peace in acknowledging nuisances; and there is peace in strong leadership. And if all else fails, come to work wearing only one sock and see how many of your team members understand you better.

shanti,
mjh

presence

2010-01-08T14:29:00.001-06:00

First a repost (of a repost):

My 2-year old daughter, like most 2-year-old daughters, has a doll that she has latched onto. she carries it around; it rides in the car with us; she puts it down for naps. this particular doll has limited interaction: touch her cheek, "mama"; tickle her foot: laughter; squeeze her hand: crying. Lily, of course, does not understand the catalyst for her Darla vocalizing. However, her reaction is always the same. she does not sing to Darla, she does not chastise her, she does not try and converse with her, she does not ignore her.

Lily simply touches Darla's head and softly states, "Darla, I am right here. I am right here."

The one and only most important priority in the Lily/Darla relationship is presence; rain or shine, good or bad, light or dark, Lily simply states, "I am right here."

Sure, that is a bit emotionally-tingly, if you are in the right mindspace when you read it. However, there is a truth here that directly resonates within the corporate walls. I spent some time today watching a video (internal to my company) that featured RR-H, MV, and FR. I was impressed with the fact that each speaker, of their own accord, mentioned the importance of saying "thank you". It's a truism often understood outside of the company walls, but it was very uplifting to see it expressed internally.

And it got me thinking: if money is nice, and if expressed gratitude is motivating, then what is necessary?

I keep coming back to the episode above. Presence, it seems to me, is perhaps the most basic, yet imperative factor in a successful work culture. Not your own presence (the importance of that goes without saying), but the presence of those around you, those who support you, those who suffer with you. Without companions, partners, teammates, without a sense of belonging, there would be no "company".

We should all take the time today to remind those who rely on us, those we rely on, those we support and are supported by, that we are here; not merely here, but "right here".

Be present, not only in form but also in function.

shanti,
mjh

bubbles and their makers

2010-01-08T11:15:00.001-06:00

A couple of months ago, my friend Jaime and I decided to make a bubble pact, effective January 1, 2010. Essentially, we both agreed that we have been very blessed in this life but that we really weren't living up to the responsibilities of such blessings. In other words, we were very comfortable in our bubbles. To remedy our mostly selfish existence, the bubble pact was agreed upon: once a month (at least), we will leave our cozy little circle and challenge ourselves to participate in (a) something new, (b) something uncomfortable (to us), and (c) something with a hint of "the greater good".

But I don't write this to discuss my personal bubble pact. I bring this topic up simply to ask about your own bubble, professionally speaking. Are you comfortable? Have you added anything new to your professional space lately?

2009 seemed to be a shoring-up year, a year where most teams/groups/decision-makers were afraid to make moves because there was such uncertainty in the market. However, if the fog seems to be lifting, if you think you can see a few feet in front of your face these days, why not adopt a bubble pact of your own for 2010? Adopt a new technology, research the future, befriend a random name from your Enterprise network, try some crazy new processes, write a simple program, and see what happens.

If bubble-bursting became the norm, well, there wouldn't be many bubbles left to contain us, would there?

shanti,
mjh

from LN blog: 1

2010-01-06T13:49:00.001-06:00

losing the way

As with many readers/writers/collectors, I have many favorite quotes/passages. One, however, is permanently inscribed on my brain. I think it everyday; I face it everday; I try and live it everyday.

..frightened
I may already have lost
the way: the first step, the Crone
who scried the crystal said, shall be
to lose the way.
-- Galway Kinnell, The Book of Nightmares

Many large companies, many small teams, many promising ideas are lost and paralyzed by the fear of the unknown and the unwillingness to veer from "the way". Our hope should be that there is courage enough within ourselves, our teams, to see past the seemingly logical path ahead and to leap to that unknown. It is a universal truth of youth that a man must lose himself to find himself. I find myself often wondering why, then, this same inspired mantra does not find a home within corporate culture.

Let us remember that without the blind courage of others, we would not be able to see today.

I long for the mantle
of the great wanderers, who lighted
their steps by the lamp
of pure hunger and pure thirst
and whichever way they lurched was the way.

--Galway Kinnell, The Book of Nightmares

shanti,
mjh

crossing channels

2010-01-06T13:45:00.002-06:00

I've started a new blog that exists only within the walls of my company. As part of Enterprise 2.0, Lexis has created an internal networking site that I have quickly come to enjoy. Since I can't possibly think of TWO things to blog about, I am going to be posting some writings "out here" as well as "in there". Call it a lazy way to try and keep both blogs going. Or you could view it as a peek into my corporate-tainted brain. Either way, it's cool.

shanti,
mjh

(repost) i am right here

2009-12-28T12:06:00.001-06:00

my 2-year old daughter, like most 2-year-old daughters, has a doll that she has latched onto. she carries it around; it rides in the car with us; she puts it down for naps. this particular doll has limited interaction: touch her cheek, "mama"; tickle her foot: laughter; squeeze her hand: crying. Lily, of course, does not understand the catalyst for her Darla vocalizing. However, her reaction is always the same. she does not sing to Darla, she does not chastise her, she does not try and converse with her, she does not ignore her

Lily simply touches Darla's head and softly states, "Darla, I am right here. I am right here."

The one and only most important priority in the Lily/Darla relationship is presence; rain or shine, good or bad, light or dark, Lily simply states, "I am right here."

There seems to be no end to what I can learn from a child.

shanti,
mjh

Out of Site

2009-06-16T09:24:00.002-05:00

my social networking site for homebased employees is back up and running: http://outofsite.ning.com/. If you primarily (or even just occasionally) work from home, stop on by and participate. I'm hoping that this site will allow those of us who work from home to connect, share, and even contribute to the external knowledge-base, defining who we are and what we do. I have found that being a homebased employee is an oft-misunderstood classification, and I think it's time to work on the definition. And if you are a cube-dweller, come by and join up, too. We'd love to hear your thoughts, as well.

shanti,
mjh

breakfast with the geeks

2009-06-12T08:29:00.002-05:00

As everyone who reads this blog knows, i am a homebased employee. This means that I spend 96% of my days here in my house (that's 23 hours out of 24) on an average day. Yesterday, however, I found myself having breakfast with 25 or so of the most interesting people I have met here in Nashville. The event: Geek Breakfast.

The group was more diverse than I had predicted, which made me feel much more at home. I broke bread with a pastor, a recruiter, a marketer, a couple of web developers, and a photographer. Coffee and conversation; just what a lonesome, cloistered book-guy like me needed.

I have greatly underestimated the value of the "real", face-to-face world these past two years. And I have greatly underestimated the need to fill my vessel with knowledge, wisdom, and humor from new faces.

I think it's time to get out more and recognize the world for what it is; lunatics on the grass.

shanti,
mjh

the roof is on fire

2009-06-03T20:53:00.002-05:00

all i have to say is that the quest is on again. if anyone would like to enlighten me or remind me what the goal is, what the journey should look like, which word in the world-sentence i am, please do. i'm open to suggestions.

shanti,
mjh

last sunset

2009-06-02T11:16:00.000-05:00

And all I possess
Blows away in this wind
And as I came in
So I'm leaving

Unadorned
As I was born

Nighting as the day ends
Take it slow as we can
You never know, it might be
The last sunset we'll ever see... -- Glen Phillips

music

2009-06-02T11:06:00.001-05:00

today's playlist: http://www.imeem.com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?t=http%3a%2f%2fwww.imeem.com%2ftag%2fglen%2520phillips%2fmusic%2f.

clouds

2009-05-12T22:23:00.002-05:00

I wonder if any civilization has ever tried to read the future in the clouds. People turn to the stars, the planets, tea leaves, palms, cards...what about the clouds.

shanti,
mjh

I am right here

2009-05-08T10:43:00.004-05:00

3rd post today, 2 important advertisements

2009-04-22T20:04:00.004-05:00

1) everyone needs to check out Rob's blog, post Holy Week. It's honest, beautiful, and at the essence of what blogs are all about. If you happen to be here and haven't ventured over there, take the journey.

2) Take $10 out of your wallet and visit Julie's Esty shop. Art auction details below:
Courage Wears A Red Dress. There are only 264 postcards and 264 chances to win. The number 264 comes from the 264 survivors that received medical advocacy from Rape Response last year. I certainly hope that another 264 people will come forward this month to show support and purchase a postcard!

So, feel free to leave my blog now and (1) inspire yourself, (2) inspire others.

shanti,
mjh

got gut?

2009-04-22T15:10:00.002-05:00

I have recently realized that my gut has gone missing, at least the gut that I trust (I don't trust the spare tire hanging around my waist). I used to trust my gut, and, that I know of, it kept me pretty straight: buy, sell, fold the pocket kings, go all in, don't get in that taxi, run for cover, etc. These days, though...

So the terrible-sounding question: anyone know a good gut cleanser? Again, talking about the internal, untangible gut people. In light of my recent weight gain, I'd rather not discuss the other.

I fear that my gut has gotten clouded by ingesting garbage, weighing alternatives, worrying about the butterfly effect, treading too lightly, and simply a personal distrust for my own instincts. After making several minor (and kinda major) wrong steps over the past week, I've come to realize that the gut I have been listening to isn't really mine at all. It's a warped, foggy, distant, confused voice, and it has got to go.

Advice?

shanti,
mjh

unsure footing

2009-04-22T09:05:00.003-05:00

not sure what to write about today, but i feel that taking advantage of the almost extinct downtime at work is of primary importance. so, jumping in feet first (head first seems to scary, since the water is bound to be shallow).

i have spent a lot of time searching this year (year = 365 days, not simply 2009). i haven't exactly been lost, but i also have not exactly known where i am going. let's look at the list of ideas/projects/first steps i have taken and see how far down what path i have gone:

1) I decided (again) to write/publish. This time, for Head First. I dig their way of teaching and figured that they could use a book on writing/grammar. My 10-page initial tryout was well received, but it wasn't exactly what they were looking for. After some very good suggestions from them, I somehow got busy and never followed up.

2) The Puncts: I still think a comic-book series where the main characters are punctuation marks is a pretty cool idea. Perhaps nerdy to some, but a great teaching tool to others.
Characters: Peri.D. (he's the leader), Comma Chameleon (b/c commas have so many uses/characteristics), The Interrogator (asks all the pressing questions), Citor (speaks only in quotations), etc. My friend Jonathan (proper kudos to him for some of the above-listed names) and I came up with some great storylines; however, without an artist or enough time, the project lives only in a few words we scriblled onto a napkin. (BTW: Coolest Voltron-esque storyline...when Peri and Comma join forces to create a semicolon. Again, nerdy to some, but totally rad to me.)

3) Joined local social network Patrons of Change. "rejecting the status quo" sounded right up my alley...then found out that they are interested in entrepreneurs. I'd love to be one (re: this list), but I am not. Can't figure out how to un-join, so I guess they are stuck with me. If you are an entrepreneur, you should definitely check them out.

4) Started my own social network, Out of Site, for home-based employees (such as myself). So far...1 member. I haven't even gotten my other 2 home-based collegues at LN to join. Thinking about deleting it. I'm going to try and give it 6 months before declaring it DOA...not sure I have the drive, though, to keep it running by myself.

5) Decided to go to law school (for the fourth time in my life). Then decided not to go to law shool (for the fourth time in my life).

6) Designed 6 logos/advertising pieces for friends and coworkers. None of them are currently being used. (Not pity-partying here; just reporting)

7) Decided to sell some art on Etsy. Haven't completed a single piece yet.

8) Have spent well over 365 days pitching various ideas to my company. Seeing some traction, seeing some interest, but not yet seeing complete buy-in. This one has been exhausting.

9) I think I have somewhat finalized my short-story collection outline. Still haven't actually written a sentence, though. It's going to be great (I humbly report) if I ever get it on paper.

10) I still toy with numerous magazine ideas, but I recognize this is not really the economic climate to be pitchingan ad-based, print, subscription revenue model. I need to go find the final episode of "Just Shoot Me". If their last show ended with bankruptcy and horror b/c the industry tanked...maybe that will finally shut up that "start-a-magazine" voice in my head.

Well...it appears that I have been searching quite a bit. I honestly feel that I have started/stopped more than nine things, so that number isn't as bad as I thought.

I have had some successes this past year. I have done quite well in the stock market (makes sense considering my complete obsession with CNBC these past few months). I am raising a wonderful daughter who is 90% potty-trained and can complete tasks a lot better than her daddy. I'm still married (going on 6 years), which in our society is always something to brag about. Also, I love and am loved by the greatest people.

Some perspective. It's good for the soul.

shanti,
mjh

what's going on

2009-04-20T14:15:00.002-05:00

so...what have i been doing while not blogging? Trying to launch a new site: Out of Site. It's a niche social networking site, aimed folks like me who primarily work at home. Call us homebasers, home-based employees, telecommuters, distance workers, etc. So, if you are one of those, come on over and join. Once that site is built up and i have some active members, i am going to try to get back to blogging.

shanti,
mjh

The end

2009-03-25T18:37:00.001-05:00

shanti,
mjh

2009-02-24T19:48:00.001-06:00

Dig it.

2009-02-22T17:09:00.001-06:00

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Torn

2009-02-18T11:02:00.002-06:00

I'm very torn these days. As most of you dear readers know, I go through pro-tech stages and anti-tech stages, sometimes blogging/tweeting/etc., and sometimes deciding that no good can come from any of it. I thought I was in an anti-social space these days; however, I have joined two new networks/services in two days, which feels like the tide ebbing again.

First, I figured I would try out Twine. It's 1/2 social networking, 1/2 bookmarking, and wholly participating in a collective think-/report-space around a given topic. I started one about LexisNexis, just to get a feel for how the system works. So far, I am the only member of my twine, and I simply bookmark articles that I find online about the company into it. Nothing too special yet, but I can see how active participation could nurture socially-exciting niche topics. I've joined a few external twines, so we'll see what happens.

The second is called Patrons of Change (tag line "...rejecting the status quo). This looks to be a (as-of-today) small social network with most of its members residing within 20 miles of me. As most of you know, I work/play/stay at home 99% of the time, so the possibility of exchanging progressive, innovative, ideas with "real" people is very appealing to me. Having just joined, I'm not sure if/how I will fit into their PoC vision, but I am excited about the possibility of having an on-line social network that could blend into actual ("real") space.

Yes, I am torn about many other things at the moment as well. Career being one of them, but I will leave that discussion for another time...maybe.

"one part of me just wants to tell you everything / one part just needs the quiet"--Glen Phillips

shanti,
mjh

My advice: To thine own self be true.

2009-02-11T09:12:00.001-06:00

I am trying out Plinky...still not sure how much (or if) I like it, but some of these prompts/answers will be showing up here on my blog for a while. If they are annoying, please let me know.

Running ahead of oneself by Dan Foy (orangeacid)

"To thine own self be true." Penned by Shakespeare, this piece of advice never, ever fails, even if you are the only one who can see the success.

Watch "Being Human" next time you're home sick

2009-02-10T16:10:00.001-06:00

This has long been my favorite movie, despite its pretty universal thrashing by reviewers. The basic story follows a cast of characters through several lifetimes, and the movie is quite literary in nature, which is probably why I dig it. Lots of recurring themes, images, and roles make this a quite enjoyable use of your time.

technology heals

2009-02-09T21:14:00.002-06:00

As soon as I ask the question, I have my answer. This is why technology is so great:

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Many thanks to Rob for posting and encouraging action.

shanti,
mjh

technology hurts

2009-02-09T19:33:00.002-06:00

My PC could not connect to work today, which killed about 1/2 day of production; my laptop is currently flashing three different error messages; my dishwasher runs continuously unless you manually turn it off; my on-demand hasn't worked for almost a week; my car usually has at least two warning lights on at all times (sometimes as many as four)...can someone remind me why technology is so great?

shanti,
mjh

balance

2009-02-02T20:50:00.002-06:00

seems that I am lacking balance in my life. Between working, daddy-ing, husband-ing, son-ing, tweeting, friend-ing, blogging, facebooking, imeem-ing, plinky-ing, etc.(-ing), I am constantly running out of time/energy to do any of these things at a high level of efficiency. Also, I haven't touched my Charlotte-guitar in oh-so-many weeks, which is very de-spiriting to me. Also, it appears that I am hyphenating a lot these days.

Anyone know where I can buy/borrow/steal/lease some balance?

shanti,
mjh

Facebook posting

2009-01-28T14:02:00.002-06:00

You know that 25 random things note that's been going around Facebook? I caved to the peer pressure, so here's mine:

just so you know, I posted 100 things several months ago on my blog: http://subsidedgravity.blogspot.com/2008/04/just-in-case-you-want-to-know.html. Some of them are a bit dated, but they're there.

1. I do not understand God's forgiveness of Ted Bundy (http://www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000433.cfm). Either (a) the characters in this Earth story are not as important as the overriding themes, or (b) I do not understand the story. I am completely incapable of such forgiveness, and that makes me a little worried.

2. My general extremism has spilled over into my online life. Hence, I start blogging, sign up for Facebook, Twitter, Plinky, imeem, etc., then I will just wander away for a few months.

3. In recent thoughts about work/home culture, I have realized that I don't know what most of my friends do for a living. Sure, I might know your brand/title, but I probably don't know what any of you actually do at 10:30 am on a Thursday.

4. I often (like on a daily basis) wonder if Christians worship God or Jesus. I know that they are kinda the same thing, but they really aren't. I wonder if the God-first and Jesus-first groups should get together and discuss. Don't invite the Mary-first group, though, until the second or third meeting. That could get complicated.

5. I am getting much closer to the day when I will admit that I will never actually write the stories in my head. Instead, I fear, I will simply post outlines on my blog (free of any claim to intellectual property) and see if anyone else wants to write them.

6. By looking at my current music playlist, I would appear to be either completely lost in this world or unstable. I prefer the first: http://www.imeem.com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?k=zMfkjtqib3.

7. I might have been the Lady of Shalott in a previous life.

8. "Crow's Theology" by Ted Hughes blows my mind.

9. No, Sheryl Crow, I am not strong enough to be your man.

10. I broke my guitar a month ago and am very sad about it. I threw it on the ground after a new string broke; its sad position against my office wall is a reminder at how crummy I can be.

11. During a recent play-date, my 2-year-old daughter ran up to me, pointed at her nose, and said "boogers". For those of you who have kids, you will understand the beauty of that moment. For those that don't, there's another random "daddy-thinking-his-kid-is

-so-cute" moment for you.

12. I only remember really crying three times in my life, and none of them were appropriate.

13. "Intent" is a tricky thing.

14. I have recently rediscovered my love of The Push Stars.

15. I do not invest wisely in people. I have known some of the greatest folks ever to be conceived, yet I spend so little time with any of them.

16. I think we all have our own Book of Nightmares, but I would bet that Galway Kinnell's is better than most.

17. I have always wanted to spend 24 hours out on the open ocean alone without much more than a raft and a notebook. There's something attractive about drifting on the thin line between an insanely deep, active world below and a vast, vacated world above.

18. I spend lots of time thinking about religion, race, politics, and the larger economy (not just money, but the commodity of everything material and immaterial); however, I rarely write about any (save religion).

19. I had a real outline/plan for my hippie rants recently on my blog, but I ran out of steam and veered off track. I guess that happens when you marry first-draft writing with the permanence of the internet.

20. from Swami Prabhavananda/Christopher Isherwood's translation of the Bhagavad Gita:
"In every age I come back / To deliver the holy, / To destroy the sin of the sinner / to establish righteousness. / He who knows the nature / Of my task and my holy birth / Is not reborn / When he leaves this body: / He comes to me."
I find it fascinating that both Hinduism and Christianity speak of rebirth, yet they approach the concept from such different angles. In the former, the goal is to avoid it; in the latter, it is the primary goal. Is any religion indifferent about rebirth?

21. I think my eternal heaven would be: sitting down with a never-ending bag of gummy worms, a bottomless Sprite, and getting to watch the stories of everyone's life (with a fast-forward button, of course).

22. I wish bartering was still around. Apparently, there is a fairly large bartering presence online; perhaps I will check it out during one of my extreme-Web phases.

23. Yes, White Lion, it is very sad when The Children Cry; I will be sure to let them know that we try.

24. I have only beaten one arcade game (in an actual arcade). It was the Simpsons game and I just kept pumping in quarters until it was over. It was a great day.

25. I am currently reading: "The Spiral Road" by Jan de Hartog, "I Know This Much is True" by Wally Lamb, and "Raising Holy Hell" by Bruce Olds. I just finished reading "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel and did not enjoy it (though you think I would re: 17). Soon, I plan on rereading "The Food Chain" by Geoff Nicholson and would love to dive back into the Transcendentalists. Remind me again why I ever watch TV?

shanti,
mjh

white rabbit

2009-01-28T07:30:00.003-06:00

thanks to Rob for sending this my way: music_recommendations_four_approaches.

When I find the time, I'd like to tackle their question:
What Does Your Ideal Music Recommendation Engine Sound Like?

for now, it's back to work...

shanti,
mjh

2009-01-23T20:44:00.001-06:00

santa fe saga

2009-01-15T10:39:00.001-06:00

hopefully, I will find time to write and try and wrap up the first part of my hippie saga later tonight. For now, enjoy a wonderful piece of music with many memories/emotions attached:

	United States Coast Guard Band - Santa Fe Saga

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

first LDC book up for sale

2009-01-12T09:36:00.002-06:00

Though I hope none of you will ever need this first book personally, I wanted to broadcast that the first in a series of Life Event books I am working on (from lawyers.com) is now up for sale.

Divorce: Articles from Lawyers.com: Life Event Series

In the coming months, there will be books published on several other Life Events ("Buy or Sell a House", "Automobile Accident", "Write a Will", "Identity Theft", etc.). Check out the on-line articles at lawyers.com and expect more announcements as the books go live.

shanti,
mjh

reposting "Counting my blessings"

2009-01-11T19:20:00.004-06:00

Today, I miss you all, so I am going to repost something I wrote back in April of last year. I know more people now, so I need to update the list; also, life has changed over the past few months, but I am reposting it as it was. Perhaps this is a good thing, perhaps not.; the bottom line is that I want to tell those I love and miss that I love and miss them.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

counting my blessings...

I realize going into this post that I am treading dangerous ground. I miss my friends a lot, and I have been thinking lately about why. Obviously, the connection, be it deep and soul-touching or casual and social, is what begins/sustains any relationship. However, I have been discovering pieces of folks that I truly wish were still a part of my puzzle. Call it a realization and longing for "characteristics" over "character". So why boil an entire human being down to a few words? I admit it is unfair and a gross undervaluation of you all, but it would be impossible to focus otherwise. I truly miss the physical touch, sight, sound, and presence of so many people, but what I intend to do is define the most vivid piece of each person that is missing from my life. First, I have not pre-thought this out (it is a blog, you know), so if you are reading this and are not on the list, it simply means that I have not pre-thought this out, not that you mean zilch to me. I apologize in advance for the many people I will inadvertently leave out (and to the many females whose maiden names will be used). Second, if you don't like what is listed, sorry; I also miss that about you.

I miss (of course, in no particular order):
Wallace J's wisdom
Alison C's whole-heartedness
Melissa C's aura of empathy, humility, and craziness
Dacia F's wonderfully carefree whimsy
Jamie G's love for my friends
Carla S's intense sense of humor
Amy H's watchful inner eye
Amy R's steadfastness
Jamie W's ability to be positive and uplifting with witty, sarcastic realism
Rob R's mature ability to belong and not belong concurrently
Ed B's soft-spoken, wise understanding
Rob B's wit ("hot apple thighs"; still makes me laugh)
Jaime C's complete ability to "get" me
Don D's rock-and-roll, life-changing friendship
Lizzie T's beautiful compassion
Susan T's boundless pursuits
Jonathan H's deep, deep soul
Rick Z's always-looked-stoned casualness
Rachel D's passion and grace
Angie O's survival instincts
David B's charisma
Donna C's bubbly love of life and you
Henry C's ability to unite
Sally P's laughter
Tracy G's intensity
Allyson W's never-say-die, drama-filled, beautiful friendship
Brett H's unconditional love
Rachna R's ability to see the truth in things
Supriti P's ability to change the rules
Howard H's hugs and simple complexity
Kate B's gentle confrontations
Katie B's wonderful intenseness
Sima's G's strength
Julie W's inspired/inspiring art
Clay F's smart conversation
Yara A's comfortability
Harry P's "Harry"-ness
Jonathan D's shock value
Lindsey K's constant ambition
Erin H's tenacity
Jeff S's vision
Sharon D's ability to care just enough
Cyndi B's correct valuation of importance
Pam H's honesty
Christine's gentleness
Mike's New-York-style attitude
Vicki M's nervous confidence

*disclaimer* For the most part, I have left family out.

Point is: I miss you, and these are the primary reasons. Maybe tomorrow, I will list the second-most thing I miss about you. :o)

Consider me blessed to have known you all, and I am grateful for the qualities you shared with me.

shanti,
mjh

re:hippies, part 1 revisited

2009-01-09T15:47:00.002-06:00

I was just going to post a comment to the comment string here, but instead I would like to revisit/restate my initial query. From my understanding (and I always must disclaim that I don't truly understand a lot of this, but I am trying to work through it), current applications use crowd-sourcing or some type of large data set to analyze the tastes of people and use that information to suggest "what" else might be purchased, listened to, watched, etc. Lots of consumer-oriented spaces do this, both online and in the real world.

For example, a program will report that out of 600 people who bought X Grateful Dead album, 500 of them also bought Y Phish album; therefore if I buy X, the program will suggest Y. That is a "what" comparison.

What I am interested is whether a "why" could be established instead of only a "what".

For example, out of 600 songs that I rate as excellent, could a program analyze the metadata (rhythm, speed, tonal range, etc.) of those songs and make a recommendation based on a "why"?

Or, using Melissa's example, could a program analyze my yearly shopping lists and not just recommend similar products (based on other shoppers' patterns), but instead analyze the ingredients, colors, texture, convenience (and other such metadata) and make recommendations based on "why" certain products were bought.

Make sense?

If programs could begin determining patterns of "why"s, it seems that a true AI would be much closer to realization. Not just what people are Googling, but why they are Googling it. Or in my case, not that Matt hates and loves hippies, but why he does so.

To be faced with such a program, more advanced than us (unless you can already figure yourself out), would truly be remarkable, scary, and evolutionarily progressive (none of the adjectives, by the way, that I ascribe to hippies).

shanti,
mjh

just a pic

2009-01-08T20:34:00.002-06:00

me and the little one mesmerized by the Little Einsteins:

shanti,
mjh

re:hippies, part 1 (metadata and understanding)

2009-01-08T09:51:00.005-06:00

There are two different subjects that I want to touch on re:hippies. I just had to get that first post out to lay the groundwork for a larger discussion on (1) social boundaries/PCorrectness and (2) whether patterns or metadata could be used to reconstruct personality. I think I'll start with the latter.

I used my love/hate affair with hippies to highlight the peculiar human dilemma (as far as we know it is only our burden) of having multiple emotional responses to a macro thing without always being able to understand (on the micro level) what discrete pieces we are responding to. In other words, if I were able to truly break down my personal understanding of "hippie", could I ever really separate out what I hate from what I love? Does my mind have the capacity to see and understand trends and patterns, or would a computer be much quicker, potentially smarter, than I at this task?

I have been reading a lot lately about Web 3.0 and the Semantic web. One of the most intriguing aspects of the semantic web is the effort to use metadata to connect and teach computers (or a larger AI) to recognize what is being represented and to not just simply represent it upon command. In other words, there is a large-scale push to make it possible for computers to not just display a graphical map but to understand what is being displayed and relative connections that might exist within it.

umm...at least that is my personal understanding of the terms today. I'm not quite sure if I "get it" yet...

So...I wonder if my personal metadata could be understood by a force more powerful than myself (AI), and, if so, could algorithms and connections be used to (1) understand me and (2) reconstruct me (not physically, of course, but virtually).

I have to begin with music and my personal musical tastes since music is prepacked with metadata, and it is easy for us to understand what exists in that space. So, given enough data about my musical likes, dislikes, and indifferences, could the metadata of said music lead to an actual understanding (and accurate prediction) of what my musical-tastes profile is?

So, here is a random list of some of the songs on my current playlist that I love (truly random; just hitting shuffle and listing the first five songs):

1) Brokedown Palace by the Grateful Dead
2) Shooting Shark by the Blue Oyster Cult
3) Homesick by Kings of Convenience
4) A Good Country Mile by Kevn Kinney
5) Said I Loved You...by Michael Bolton (oooohh...this one hurts to admit. bad shuffle luck).

Granted, way too small of a dataset, but you really don't want me to list all 64 songs (and I don't want to admit to some of them).

Let's look at the metadata and patterns that could emerge:
Metadata
1) Song title
2) Artist
3) Producers (and the like)
4) Date of publication
5) etc.

musical patterns
1) rhythms
2) chord progressions
3) harmonies
4) instances of diverting from internally-established patterns
5) etc.

"non-musical" patterns (admittedly a misnomer)
1) lyrical (though it will be quite some time before a computer will understand "you drove me to the wall")
2) linguistic (frequency of interdental sounds, fricative, etc.)
3) voice tonality
4) rhetorical patterns
5) etc.

And what about other characteristics of every particular song: levels (how loud/soft is voice compared to instruments), blending, background noise, etc.

I am starting to think that music might have not been the simplest place to start this discussion... :o) At this rate, you would think it matters whether the singer was facing east or west (and perhaps it does).

Back to the larger question. Could a program analyze and gather data from a representative set of my musical likes and dislikes and understand my taste? I certainly don't understand the connection between loving Billy Joel's "The Downeaster "Alexa'" , Vengeance Rising's "Fill this place with Blood" and Patty Griffin's "Rain." And I think I would be quite miffed at a report that explained what the connections are and why I love them, essentially reducing my musical taste to a number.

However, the idea intrigues me. Is there a connection? There must be since some music resonates with me and some does not. So, what is that connection?

The problem for the AI would be having to account for non-metadata influences, like moods and memories. Of course I have emotional ties to many of my favorite songs/musicians, and it is very hard to fathom a virtual entity being able to quantify such things.

Color me interested, however, in how the semantic web might evolve beyond 3.0 and not only understand meanings and connections but perhaps even digest, dissect, report, and recreate them.

shanti,
mjh

p.s.--if some of these posts seem random, incomplete, suddenly-ended, scatterbrained, jumpy, etc., it is because they are. I am still trying to get my writing/thinking/time-management legs back. And I have a 2-year old.

the last resort

2009-01-07T19:47:00.001-06:00

for something slightly different (and something I love without question). It's time for Mr. Henley to preach:

shanti,
mjh

hippies

2009-01-07T15:24:00.003-06:00

So, let's talk hippies for a moment. Why? Because they have been on my mind for quite some time. First, a couple of disclaimers: 1) I use "hippie" like some use "ninja". It's an over-generalized label that might or might not actually refer to or represent hippies. So, if you think you are an overly-sensitive hippie who might be offended by my characterization of hippiness, this post is probably not for you. 2) Yes, I will over-generalize, bend the truth at times, contradict myself, and probably flat out lie a little bit to get my point(s) across. It's not about the journey, my friends, it's about my new year's resolution. [and, for you serious folk, this is (almost) a joke.]

Depending on who you are and what your relationship is to me, you might characterize me as someone who really, really hates hippies. OR, you might characterize me as someone who really, really loves hippies. Both statements are very accurate and are not rhetorically constructed to be parallel for kicks; i really, really hate and really, really love hippies...every minute...every day. It's kind of a problem.

If there is one truism here, it is that I certainly don't not have an opinion about hippies (read: I have an opinion...I just like the pompous-sounding emphasis of the other). I want to explore the contradiction in feeling and see where it takes me, and where better to do so than a very public forum. Gotta love www, huh?

HATE:
First of all, I hate the individual and collective introspection-without-action of a hippie. Sure, hippies will sit around and "figure things out, man", but when was the last time a hippie did anything about it? Or, perhaps I should say, when is the last time a hippie succeeded in doing something about it (whatever "it" may be). When is the last time a hippie changed the world? And I am not talking about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company who used to be a hippie. A used-to-be hippie is not a hippie.
Speaking to that, where have all of those hippies gone who were going to beat the system back in the late 60s? Weren't about 1/2 of them going to infiltrate the system and change it from the inside? The other 50% are still waiting.
I hate the non-action of a hippie.
I hate the borderline-anarchism of hippies. Look, if you dig anarchy, then dig it, live it (and not in that ignorant punk-band way; those aren't anarchists, they are just know-nothing destroyers). Don't participate in the system; that's totally cool. There is power in non-action if done completely and without faltering. What would happen if 95% of people did not vote, did not pay their taxes, did not participate? If you are going to make a non-action statement, just make it. And make it loud and with numbers.
I hate the temporary action of a hippie (yes, this contradicts my over-generalized statement that hippies are, in essence, inactive, but I disclaimed, so I am safe). Sure, I will honk for peace when I pass you and see you and your honk-for-peace hippie buddies holding your "honk for peace" sign...but what then? I have a hard time recognizing the logical leap between beeping my horn and the world hearing, listening, and laying down arms. I don't see the benefit in showing up for the world's largest paint-by-number-a-thon. It's temporary; it's fake-action; it's hippie.
I hate that hippies don't loudly fight the co-opting of hippiness by society (corporate, government, on both macro- and micro-levels). Allowing car companies and clothing lines to co-opt your essence, to co-opt and water down your beliefs, to diminish your power by cheapening it, come on, at least fight (peacefully) for your passion and your (sometimes) good name.

LOVE:
I love the entrepreneurial spirit of a hippie. A hippie will pick up rocks right off of the ground and sell you one for a quarter (usually in the name of peace). You might think I would hate this, but for some reason I don't. I'd probably buy one.
I love the stillness of a hippie. Most of the hippies I have ever known have been very slow to anger, slow to unhinge, slow to unsettle. I dig that a lot. Sure, this leads to non-action, but I dig the detachment of a hippie.
I love the music of a hippie. Period.
I love the love of a hippie.
I love the karmic/cosmic view of a hippie.

See my problem? See a solution? I don't. I even tamed my hatred of and purposefully did not over-love-gush about hippies. If you ever see me at a coffee shop, don't get me started b/c my fingers won't tire out when talking.

so...New Year's resolution time. I think I want to be more hippie in 2009 (ugh, that "other" side of me can't believe I just said that). Let me rethink...

Actually, I would like to be kinda hippie-2.0; that's what I think the world needs. a hippie (you know: loving, still, peaceful, karma-centric) that is socially-connected on a global- and local-level. A hippie that recognizes that "the man" is more transparent and malleable now (and that the power has shifted from the gov't to this www). A hippie that places action above inaction and uses that super-hippie-introspection-power to spread peace, love, and identity beyond co-optable catch phrases, cartoonish figureheads, and nobody-notices sit-ins.

Perhaps what the world needs is a plethora of hippie-ninjas, organized globally, and all tapped into the hippie 2.0 hive mind.

or perhaps I just need to leave hippies alone, move them to the back-burner of my mind, and use my virtual real estate to say something meaningful. I'll work on that.

shanti,
mjh

back, back, and moving foward

2009-01-06T20:22:00.003-06:00

Contrary to how it might look, getting more involved in the virtual social world is not a new year's resolution of mine. However, for better or worse, I have plunged back in. I'm back on Facebook for the third time and have added Twitter to my web arsenal. Why, you ask? A dash of Jaime, a little bit of James, a pinch of Rob, society-wide peer pressure, and lots of curiosity.

so...time to integrate (or try to) and see what the combined power of social media is all about.

shanti,
mjh

p.s.--my new year's resolution? it has to do with hippies, and i'll explain another day.

poetry Tuesday

2008-12-02T21:43:00.004-06:00

in case you have never read it:

"Not Waving but Drowning"

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

--Stevie Smith

I am neither waving nor drowning, just sharing some poetry. I hope to begin writing again soon...

shanti,
mjh

kinda random post part 2

2008-11-06T10:31:00.004-06:00

I don't often bring my family into/onto my blog. I like to keep my little place on the web separate from my day-to-day life. However, there's been lots of great pictures taken lately, and I thought I would share a few (translation: I still have no time to write, so I am using pics as a filler post).

shanti,
mjh

kinda random post part 1

2008-11-06T09:54:00.003-06:00

My friend Rob started a thread asking folks to list their version of MLA's 100 Best Novels. See his insightful list here, see the wonderful Dr. Wright's list here, and my list is below:

1. Crow by Ted Hughes
2. The Book of Nightmares by Galway Kinnell
3. Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. Paradise Lost by John Milton
5. Psalms 46:10a by David
6. Walking by Henry David Thoreau
7. From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea by Robert Smith
8. God by Tupac Shakur
9. Holy Sonnet 14 by John Donne
10. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
11. The Bhagavad Gita by Vyasa
12. Ulysses by James Joyce
13. American Gods by Neil Gaiman
14. The Lady of Shalott by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
15. Watership Down by Richard Adams
16. Raising Holy Hell by Bruce Olds
17. The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker
18. Everville by Clive Barker
19. A Forest by Robert Smith
20. The Over-Soul by Ralph Waldo Emerson
21. Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo
22. The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin
23. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
24. Walden by Henry David Thoreau
25. The Spiral Road by Jan de Hartog
26. Hyper Ballad by Bjork
27. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
28. SubUrbia by Eric Bogosian
29. The Food Chain by Geoff Nicholson
30. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
31. Macaria by Augusta Jane Evans
32. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
33. Dover Beach by Matthew Arnold
34. Happy Days by Samuel Beckett
35. Dream of the Rood by unknown
36. The Tempest by Shakespeare
37. Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi Pirandello
38. The Great Lawsuit by Margaret Fuller
39. The World of the Dark Crystal by Brian Froud
40. Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note by Amiri Baraka

As soon as I whittled my list down to 40 (he only asked for 20), I immediately was unsatisfied, both with the contents and ordering. However, for now, it will stand.

Feel free to post your own list here or over on Rob's blog. He's cool like that.

shanti,
mjh

vaca

2008-10-10T06:29:00.002-05:00

i leave for vacation today (a mini one to birmingham to drop off the little one); then i leave for vacation again Monday (a big one; a week in the G'burg).

Let's just say things have been busy, crazy, stress-heavy, so I think I need this.

shanti,
mjh

feel good inc.

2008-09-27T19:16:00.005-05:00

As I am watching SEC football and trying not to work (not as easy as it sounds when you work from home), I figured I would take some time to write about how amazing my recent trip to the City was.

Highlight #1: Seeing Dr. Wright. I hadn't seen Jaime in 15 years, and seeing her again was the best. We rode the subway, dined Italian, walked the City streets. It was a better visit than I could have hoped for and completely reinvigorating and eye opening. Totally what I needed.

#2: Web 2.0 Expo. This is the reason that I ended up in NYC, and it was totally worth the trip. Most of the sessions that I attended were very well done, full of useful and practical information, and chill on a very socially destratifying plain. Paramount to the sessions, however, was Tim O'Reilly's keynote speech. It was humbling, yet inspiring; statistics-driven, yet open-ended; honest, yet unpretentious. This was my first time hearing Tim speak, and I was very impressed. In addition, I had a great meeting with the threepress.org. I can only use the words "inspiring", "amazing", etc. so many times in one post, but she was all of these and more.

#3: Flynn. For those who know, enough said. F-Club Flynn.

#4: Mood. My only real priority when touching down in NYC was to get to Mood. And it was awesome. I bought a yard of fabric and five buttons. Random, sure, but I've been to Mood, and that means that I rock.

#5: the City. I had never been to NYC before and was quite intimidated the morning of my trip. However, I have to say that the people were friendly, the weather was amazing, and the coffee was dark. What more could you ask for? Well, I guess I could've asked for someone to whisk me off the street and beg me to record a platinum-selling album, but I guess I have a better shot at that happening here in Nashville (and that shot sits at 0% as of today).

All-in-all, a very successful trip, which has led to a pretty boring post. Sorry about that. I know that stories of almost-muggings or walking into the Amazing Race would have livened things up, but it just didn't happen. I visited, I learned, I was inspired, and I survived.

Stay tuned, however; there might be an amazing end to this story yet...

shanti,
mjh

comments and answers

2008-09-23T07:47:00.003-05:00

to answer:
1) the old pictures did not scare me off, though they could have. that's some scary stuff.
2) yes, chicken is divine. thanks for pointing that out, anon.
3) my daughter thinks i'm funny, though she is only 20 months old. great age for trying out new material.
4) i'm not quitting the blog...again.

truthfully, i have been working 60+ hours a week, and trying to be a good husband, father, neighbor, friend, etc. Proximity still wins out, and something had to go. I'll likely be back on Facebook around 1/09, once my work eases up a bit, and I look forward to seeing what groups are still active, what pictures have been posted, who has popped up or disappeared.

In the meantime, I have a handful of topics to discuss (more magazine stuff, my NYC trip, more S_L_A_P_P_E_D talk, etc.) and things to virtually work out here on the blog. It is nice to only have one thing on that pesky back-of-my-mind to-do list.

shanti,
mjh

it's all about time

2008-09-19T20:46:00.002-05:00

Yes, I have once again quit myspace and facebook. Disconnection feels kinda nice. I will probably be back someday, but, since I have shown my fear of commitment more than once, just know that I will probably be gone someday as well. Such is life, I guess.

shanti,
mjh

NYC-bound

2008-09-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

So, I am heading to "the City" tomorrow to attend the Web 2.0 expo. Just wanted to brag. Oh, and I am meeting up with Jaime. Yah, that's two brags in one post.

shanti,
mjh

less serious and much cuter

2008-09-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

S_L_A_P_P_E_D

2008-09-07T17:18:00.008-05:00

I was slapped yesterday morning on a quick road trip up to Louisville. I was just putting up the interstate, listening to a 12-part lecture series on C.S. Lewis. Now, I expected to be enlightened, entertained, and perhaps floored by this collection; after all, few people take Lewis lightly. The slap, however, was unexpected. It was either cosmic or divine, or perhaps a momentary spiritual manifestation of self-awareness, clarity, and the need to define, redefine, and center. In any case, it's still on my mind (and now will be on yours. tag.).

"Who am I" -- Zoolander

I have forever been a seeker. Anyone who knows me understands that for many years I have sought God, the Truth, and how those two interact, intertwine, and interrupt the human experience. More than a hobby, it has been a lifestyle, continually thinking, reading, asking, listening, questioning, being, understanding, non-, believing, non-, etc. I wrap it all up in a simple self-label: "I am a seeker of the Truth". (*side note* in rereading this post, that statement is not sitting with me very well; it somehow comes across as grandiose and self-important. I mean it neither way; I am no knight, destined for a quest that none else understands. It is likely that every one of you reading this post are "seekers of the Truth"; however, self-defining is necessarily self-pointing and -centered. Please take it the least self-aggrandizing way possible. Since I have rudely interrupted myself, here is the statement again for continuity's sake: "I am a seeker of the Truth" *second side note* Ugh. It still doesn't sit well with me. How about this: "I have always thought of myself as a seeker of the Truth" or "I always try to seek the Truth"? Ugh. Nevermind.) However, the geography (for lack of a better term) of that statement has been called into question...and here comes the slap...

Am I a "seeker of the Truth" or am I a "Seeker of the Truth"? The devil is always in the details, and in this case the details lie in the capitalization. Am I a "seeker" or a "Seeker"?

In other words, is the act of seeking the means to the greater Truth end, or is the act of seeking concurrently and actually the means and the end? Am I divinely viewed as a seeker after the Truth, or just a Seeker comfortable in his seeking, defined by his seeking, forever-engaged in the act of seeking?

There are hunters who hunt for food, clothing, material, etc., and there are Hunters who hunt for hunting's sake. Seeking seems no different. Is it the finish line or the journey that we seek, the take or the act? And the can't-ignore follow-up question, "Is it ok to be a capital-S Seeker?"

Jesus told his disciples, "Seek and you shall find" (Matthew 7:7, Luke 11:9), and herein lies slap #2. It is inferred that the Divine honors seeking as a means, but there is no inference here that seeking as an end is honorable. If ones seeks to seek and not to find, what progress has been made, what good comes from it? Jesus posits that God will honor and fulfill the true seeker when searching for Him; perhaps I have taken my focus off of the Truth I claim to be seeking and have instead elevated the act of seeking to its place.

"God?" -- Zoolander

which leads to slap #3. What would I do if I found? Lewis tells the story of two boys playing cops-and-robbers in their attic. Excitement fills the place, they prepare and train with their sticks, as they plan and pretend to fight off the bad guys. Then there is a footstep. They cower.
Fear sets in. Suddenly the concept they have been playing with becomes very real, and they are afraid. What would I do if I found? Is it the Truth I am interested in, or am I more interested in just some truth (yah, we're back to the capitilization thing).

The three questions:
1) Am I a seeker or a Seeker? of Truth or of truth?
2) If a Seeker, what non-self-centered benefits come from it?
3) If a seeker, am I ready to find?

As of right now, the answers are 1) S 2) none 3) maybe I'll know if I ever become one.

"What's the dealio, yo?" -- again, Zoolander

So, now you know I have been slapped. It's good to be slapped on occasion; perhaps it will alter my spiritual complexion.

shanti,
mjh

FYI: feel free to comment (just click that little comment link down there). we all need company and conversation out in this blogosphere. but no pressure. I wouldn't know what to say either.

February

2008-09-05T20:26:00.003-05:00

I can't remember if I have posted these lyrics before or not, but do yourself a slight favor and take some time to enjoy them. You might find them blue; you might find them real; you might find them open; regardless, you could be better by finding them:

"February" by Dar Williams

I threw your keys in the water, I looked back
They'd frozen halfway down in the ice
They froze up so quickly, the keys and their owners,
Even after the anger, it all turned silent, and
The everyday turned solitary,
So we came to February.

First we forgot where we'd planted those bulbs last year,
Then we forgot that we'd planted at all
Then we forgot what plants are altogether
And I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting and
The nights were long and cold and scary
Can we live through February?

You know I think Christmas was a long red glare,
Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards,
And then the snow,
And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling,
And we'd drop to sleep exhausted,
Then we'd wake up, and it's snowing.

And February was so long that it lasted into March
And found us walking a path alone together.
You stopped and pointed and you said, "That's a crocus,"
And I said, "What's a crocus?" and you said, "It's a flower,"
I tried to remember, but I said, "What's a flower?"
You said, "I still love you."

The leaves were turning as we drove to the hardware store,
My new lover made me keys to the house.
And when we got home, well we just started chopping wood,
Because you never know how next year will be,
And we'll gather all our arms can carry,
I have lost to February.

on Wings

2008-08-21T12:41:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a long day; last night was a late night. And I hope to always remember that a 4-hour car ride is totally worth a 2-hour dinner with old friends.

shanti,
mjh

magazine talk, part 1

2008-08-20T09:27:00.002-05:00

As I wait for my INDD program to unfreeze, I thought I would start this/these posts.

Background:
I have always wanted to start/run a magazine. It always seemed like a hip, worthwhile, interesting dream to have, and, though I have never fully pursued it, I still wonder if I might succeed someday. I was inspired during my college and grad school years.

My first inspiration: Jack Gallo.

My second inspiration, however, was much more tangible and important to me. I found myself surrounded by great friends who were writers, researchers, artists, designers, etc. Realizing that all of us English and Art majors would likely be forced to define ourselves through corporate America, meaning that, for the most part, personal inspiration and talent would be curtailed by the Market's definition of what was important or valuable, I decided a magazine would be the perfect outlet to not only allow my peers to earn a living, but also to keep them close to me. Furthermore, it was the closest thing to a commune I could come up with without the creepy-commune vibe.

Needless to say, no magazine was ever started, and I have lost touch with some of the most talented folks who ever graced my college campus.

I'm hoping to post about my first magazine idea soon, then to follow that up with my newest magazine scheme; right now, however, it looks like a reboot is in order.

shanti,
mjh

The Spiral Road

2008-08-19T20:50:00.002-05:00

Just want to say that I am reading The Spiral Road by Jan de Hartog and loving every minute of it. It's been a long time since I have had the opportunity to just sit and read all day; one of those days would be nice right now.

shanti,
mjh

#3--i'm going straight to health...

2008-08-13T19:42:00.003-05:00

Every time I approach my blog these days, I feel overwhelmed. It is a good problem, I guess, to have more to say than time to say it. Better, at least, than the converse. I have dug my own hole, so there is no legs in complaining. With presences on facebook, myspace, linkedin, my own blog, my friends' blogs...not to mention work, family, etc., it seems that my virtual time and real time run out too quickly. Again, my own fault. I think i'll start by nixing myspace.

So, thing #3 that I have been meaning to write about.

personal training and my hatred of all things physically painful.
I assume it is perfectly natural to hate working out. right? the truth is that I have never worked out a day in my life until yesterday. Marching band in high school was probably the most physical activity I ever did for a long stretch of time; Mission Tour being the most in a short timeframe. Not to downplay the physicality of either of these, but neither of them really pushed me up to my limit (though some of those longer puppet numbers were very close). For those who did not know me in the early 90s...yes, I did say puppets.

In a fit of insanity (or complete clarity), I have decided to try and be in the best shape of my life by my 32nd birthday, not only for my own sake, but because I have a family now, and I'd kinda like to be around to see them for a few more years. So, I signed up with a personal trainer, and I am going to use part of this blog to periodically document my progress, struggles, etc. It's not that I think all people are interested in my workout habits; instead, it is all about accountability. If I am honest here in the beginning, I feel like I will be compelled to be honest in the future (including that terrible future post where I have to admit that I quit...hopefully, I will never have to write that one, but I am realistically leaving it on the table for the time being. I am in much pain tonight.).

Before I can show any progress, however, I must start with the down-and-dirty details.
Here I am:
Overall fitness score: 26 out of 100 (yah, that's not good)
Total Weight: 197 pounds
Lean Weight: 154.8 pounds
Fat Weight: 42.2 pounds (yah, that's a lot of freakin' fat I'm toting around)
Percent Body Fat: 21.4 (ugh)
Resting Heart Rate: 91 Beats per minute (which puts me in the 5th percentile, which is very not good)
After 3-Minute Step test: 130 Bpm (10th percentile; again, not good)
Pushup test: 17 (thankfully, that's average)
Flexibility test: 16.25 inches (I scored above average on this one. *whew*)

There you go. Matt in some unflattering numbers. What is the future of this post? One of two things will likely happen. Either I will re-post my health in numbers again in about 6 weeks, after getting retested. Or I will write a short, simple, and sad post some day saying that I have given up. I don't consider myself a quitter at all...however, the past two days have been quite rough, physically and mentally.

here's to the future: pain, adrenaline, healthy food, cheating, goals acheived, whining, and new outlooks on life.

shanti,
mjh

TV Guide for my blog

2008-08-08T10:19:00.002-05:00

since it doesn't look like I will have much time to write today, here is a list of upcoming topics that I have been "writing" about in my mind but have not had the energy to put to physical words. Think of this as your TV Guide for my blog; you can see what I will be writing about in the near future and decide if you want to tune back in:

1) Facebook: I'm back on Facebook after a two-year break. I don't really know why, but we'll see how it goes this time around.
2) Books: I'm reading again; this time I randomly chose "The Spiral Road" by Jan de Hartog. I'm 80 pages in and loving it. Since I never updated my quest for more Faust books, I hope to detail my road to Hartog.
3) Personal training: after taking the first week off due to illness, I am slated to start with my new trainer Monday morning. I'll give you all the dirty details next week.
4) Insects vs. people: I doubt I will get around to writing about this. Really, nobody should.
5) My blog: I have been thinking a lot lately about the purpose of my random writings...I had hoped to find a "direction" in my week off, but I feel drawn back into the chaos.
6) Magazine: I think I might start a new personal project. I want to detail it here and get your comments. Since it is my idea, I am a bit blind to its objectivity.

There you go. If you are interested, I'll see you back here over the weekend. If you are not, take a week or so off, and we'll catch up later.

Besides the blog-planning, life is good. I have a good job, a good family, and a good book. There's not much else I would ask for.

shanti,
mjh

breaking that brief silence for a hug

2008-08-01T12:20:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to note that my little one has a friend at school. When they saw each other this morning, they hugged each other so hard that, after about 1 second upright, they both hit the floor...while still embracing. Neither of them cried, though they were perilously close to a dangerous edge. They got up, laughed, and went about their lives.

It was a great hug; it was a powerful hug; it was a true hug. Just another thing we could learn from the littlest among us.

shanti,
mjh

for better or worse...

2008-07-29T09:32:00.003-05:00

...I am going to take a couple of weeks away from the blog. Gotta think some things through and figure some stuff out. In the meantime, check out some of my blogging friends:

Irish Rain
Simulate This
Gathering Stones
Three Zero
Heavy Metal Lunch

And, Sally, Britt, Katie, if by some strange fate you ever end up here, I am very sorry for your loss. You are in whatever thoughts and prayers that we have.

shanti,
mjh

Lord of the Dark Lake (and late-night ramblings)

2008-07-21T20:48:00.003-05:00

Ever since graduating grad school and leaving its bliss behind (no sarcasm there; i truly loved those days), I constantly regret not reading much anymore. Reading was my life (that, and researching, writing, thinking, stressing, stretching, deconstructing, etc.) for those two years, and I just haven't gotten back on the saddle again.

I am trying again. I moseyed over to my bookcases a couple of weeks ago and picked out Sophocles's "Antigone". It dawned on me that I had never read it. Not sure how it escaped me (or I it), but it was time. It hardly qualified as jumping back on the wagon as you could easily read it in one sitting, but it was a start. Of course, I loved it. How can one live life without occasionally being reminded that "no suffering could be so terrible / as to die for nothing..."?

It was a great start.

Next came a trip to the local library. I was in search of Replay, but, alas, our library did not have it. So, I decided to take a leap and just grab a book off of a random shelf (solely chosen by its cover design, title, and brief excerpt; there's an ex-English-grad student for you). After perusing, I decided on Lord of the Dark Lake by Ron Faust.

I was unfamiliar with his work, but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's basically a rich-and-slightly-insane-person-throws-a-seriously-wicked-party novel, which I totally appreciated and dug on deep level. Not that there is necessarily a genre for this, but I have been interested in such things ever since I read The Food Chain a few years back.

Anyways, imagine my surprise when Faust invokes "Antigone" in his novel. Coincidence is a strange thing.

I think that last sentence was going to be the point of this post, but now I find myself tracing my trek and the circle that I have travelled (which, of course, is another theme in LOTDL).

Let's see: I wrote a paper on Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen and Marquis de Sade (um, don't even try to figure out how that paper went. It's called undergrad fitting very square peg into a hole that doesn't exist in any dimension. And how I got to de Sade is a completely different subject). Anyways, that time in my life led me to TFC, which influenced my decision to read LOTDL, which recalled "Antigone"....hmm....not really a circle is it. More of a sideways "J".

All of that to say that I am back in the reading saddle and would love recommendations. And, yes, it seems that I would be all about that Great Gatsby, but I've read it a few times and never really enjoyed it (sorry Dr. Wright). Perhaps I will give it another shot...but I doubt it.

I think tomorrow I'll go check out another Faust book. Likely, it will be The Blood-Red Sea. It's a subject for another post, but I am also completely and utterly taken by open, deep, easily-lost-in bodies of water.

shanti,
mjh

personal training

2008-07-15T13:20:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about personal training of the body/mind. Not in the workout, gym, yoga, way; instead I've been pondering the various abilities that we, through our professions, upbringing, or interests, develop as a kind of faux-instinct.

Fo(u)r example(s):

my brother can hear a pitch and identify it. Hum a note, he'll tell you it's a G. Listen to your refrigerator drone, he'll pick out a C.
my wife can spot a "good" vein from across the mall. Put her in a room full of people, and she can rank the people from easiest to hardest intubation simply by looking at their necks.
my friend can spot and name a typeface anytime, anywhere. Give her a couple of letters, and she knows exactly what family, style, etc.
an old high-school buddy of mine could spot a four-leaf clover from six feet away (meaning from a standing position).

I mention that I have been pondering, and that is really as far as I have come. No great conclusions, no great epiphanies...just interested and thinking, wondering if such faux-instincts are somewhat pre-programmed and if all, or any, are evolutionarily beneficial (evolutionarily on a one-lifetime scale).

I'm interested to hear if any of you dear readers have such personally-developed instincts. If you want to share, let me know. I think mine comes from spending hours and hours reading/studying/teaching literature and writing/grammar. I can spot a typo a mile away. Give me a page in a book, and, even if I can't see the exact error immediately, I will know that something is amiss. Give me two more moments, and I'll point it out. It's not always the most blessed faux-instinct, and I don't think it is all that unique, but it's mine, nonetheless.

Oh, and I can usually tell you the exact time (well, down to the minute; I haven't mastered seconds yet) even if I haven't seen a clock in hours. I don't know where that one came from.

Chime in if you would like to share or if you have a bubbling-up revelation. I'd love to know what instincts further separate us, making me = me and you = you.

shanti,
mjh

when I was a boy

2008-07-14T13:54:00.003-05:00

I'll likely leave the song alone after this post, but for those of you who aren't able to listen to the song (playlist below), I wanted to post the lyrics. I have listened to Dar for years, and, though it would be impossible for me to rank, this is definitely in my top three ("Teen For God" and "February" rounding out that top...at least today).

When I was a Boy -- Dar Williams
I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck.

And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor came outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."

And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in,
they've got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you...

shanti,
mjh

listen up

2008-07-10T11:42:00.003-05:00

so, i don't know if anyone out there keeps up with my playlist (bottom of the page), but i do, and i guess that matters. i finally took the time to clean it up a bit. The beauty of project playlist is that you can post/share a playlist and listen to it for free; the downside is that people move/delete their music files all of the time, leading to broken links, etc.

A notable addition is one of my all time favorite songs. i feel kinda bad singling one song out b/c i love every one of them, but if you have never heard "When I was a Boy" by Dar Williams, do yourself a favor, and check it out. i moved it to the top of the list to make it easy for you.

And i have finally put some funk into my playlist. You generally wouldn't know this, but i love funk music. If Funk were running for president, it would be a no-brainer. If Funk were hiring, I'd work for free. Basically, if Funk said to jump off of a bridge, this would be my last blog post. Perhaps I will make a totally funk playlist someday soon, and we can all just chill out and breathe.

For now, however, feel free to hang out and listen to some good music. Just be prepared for whiplash. The playlist has been built over several months and I have gone through several mood shifts in that time.

shanti,
mjh

religion, faith, emotion, etc. pt. 2

2008-07-08T21:31:00.002-05:00

my thought process is that if emotion is the enemy of faith, then does that make logic faith's friend? Is it possible that logic can actually lead someone towards faith if emotion is taken out of the equation?

It seems obvious that emotion is definitely a friend of religion; a quick peek into any religious ceremony could confirm this. I do not posit that religion is all emotion, but I do believe that it can play a very significant role in one's religious experience.

However, faith and religion are not interchangeable, at least not in the Christian society that I am familiar with. Religion belongs to the whole, faith to the individual. By believing in/joining with a religion/religious body, one professes to agree with (most) of the common tenants, rules, beliefs, etc. of the larger community. However, faith is personal; it is the place where you believe what you believe regardless of external pressure or voice (in fact, with Christianity, it's a lot about that internal voice).

So, how does personal faith relate to emotion and logic. Or does it? More about this tomorrow...maybe.

shanti,
mjh

religion, faith, emotion, etc.

2008-07-08T08:26:00.003-05:00

A couple of nights ago, I met Jesus. Granted it was in a dream, but it was still pretty cool. Here's what went down.

Jesus was in his early 30s, and I was lucky enough to meet him right after he realized who he was. It seemed odd to me that Jesus would spend 30 years not knowing his own heavenly/earthly mission, so I asked him why and how. His answer was more than shocking to me.

"One word", he said. "Emotion."

He then told me that Emotion was the enemy of Faith.

I'm still not sure what to do with this....

shanti,
mjh

dance

2008-07-02T21:28:00.002-05:00

i love this:

my wife loves this:

Heidi/Travis bench dance.

which means that we love Mia Michaels.

shanti,
mjh

gummy, gummy, gone...

2008-07-02T13:35:00.005-05:00

Today is the first day of my 30-day fast from gummy candy (bears, worms, etc.). It really should have been yesterday, but I found some in my office, and, like a junkie, tore into them. The empty bag is resting on my floor, proving that I didn't even have the decency after devouring them to clean up. To you, dear reader, this test-of-will might not be a big deal; to me, however, this will be a struggle. Keep my and my emotional stability in your thoughts, please.

you know, they don't look all that appetizing up close. Perhaps this oily, fattening picture will help me through.

shanti,
mjh

POD evolution

2008-07-02T10:16:00.001-05:00

It's about time someone pulled this together: MagCloud.

Print-on-demand magazines...very cool.

shanti,
mjh

a list of random stuff

2008-06-27T07:02:00.005-05:00

Generally I, and most of those I know, blog when they have something to say or share. I'm pretty sure this is why my blog has been lonely recently. It's been a combination of not really wanting to share and not really know what to share. For today, however, I am just going to write. Nothing special, nothing planned, let's just see what's going on up there on this Friday.

1) I think I could be Amish...almost. I admit that I know very, very little about them. Just watched a documentary, so maybe I am 1% more knowledgeable today than I was yesterday. That being said, I dig the simplicity, the faith, the devotion, the ignorance-is-bliss and be-content attitudes, though truly I could never make those commitments. My problem with the Amish is that their community and lifestyle is primarily focused on the afterlife. They live as they do in hopes that they will get to heaven. Once again, people focused more on the next life than on this one. I don't think I will ever understand that frame of mind or the appeal of it (but I secretly wish that I could).

2) Not that I had any doubts about this, but I have learned this week that life is definitely not better without my little daughter here. What have I done during her vacation? I saw two terrible movies (The Happening, Sex in the City), went to two pretty good live concerts, and worked more than usual. All of that without the smiles, the laughter, and the non-stop talk about "bubbles". We go pick her up on Sunday; that day, my life gets better again.

3) I spoke with one of my good, long-distance friends (which is all I really have these days) last night. There's nothing like a good catch-up phone call to help you realize the world beyond you. Sure, the 24-news channels alert me to life outside of my circle, but the distance I often feel from those events forces my empathy to retreat. A good phone call, however, decentralizes thought, and that's a good thing. And by the way, if you are reading this post, there is a good chance you appeared in the conversation at least once.

4) I have recently become famished-fascinated by the idea of leaps vs. steps. We all participate in steps; in my current professional life, I am participating in several of them. The conversation goes like this:

Currently, we do A;
The technology/market exists to do B;
Well, that's a no-brainer, let's try it.

My understanding of think-tanks, however, is that they focus on the L and the P, and maybe even the X. Those letters, my friends, are leaps. Things that will not occur unless someone accelerates/circumvents the logical-step process and tackles the "other side" of the future. Yah, that's uber-cool.

5) Hell's Kitchen and Shear Genius reveal the brilliance of Project Runway.

6) I think that God might be a lot like Ron Bennington (those who listen to Ron and Fez on XM understand what I mean). Ron's all about personal responsibility, and if you make a crazy deal (like branding yourself after losing a bet), he's like "you said it, you have to do it; it was your idea." The reason I bring this up...I watched a NatGeo program yesterday called "Taboo", which was all about religion and those that exist more on the edge of convention. One of their stories was about a man who told God if s/he would spare his wife and daughter (during birthing complications) he would crucify himself 15 times. He pays this debt to God once a year on Good Friday. Yup, they nail his hands to a cross and he hangs up there with a crown of thorns on. I can only imagine God sitting in Heaven saying, "ok, if those are your terms, then go for it." Whether God had any hand in the situation or not is up for eternal debate, but it does seem imperative that the man lives up to his word, correct? Sad thing is that he pays his personal debt to God (crucifixion, can you imagine that!?!), while so many of us forget our own. Grace is an unfathomable thing.

7) Gotta go; sorry for the rambling. A cartoon for your entertainment.

shanti,
mjh

here we go again...

2008-06-22T17:35:00.003-05:00

well, after quite a blog absence, I hope to be back up and running soon (read: not tonight, maybe tomorrow). My wife and I are having our(hopefully annual) AOW week, which basically means the little one is at the grandparents house for a few days. Here's hoping the free time allows me to update this virtual world on what has been going on around these parts.

In the meantime, have a smile with my little one:

shanti,
mjh

What happened in Vegas

2008-05-27T08:35:00.004-05:00

Here's a quick rundown of our amazing Vegas trip (in no particular order):

1) Dinners:
Top of the World at the Stratosphere: food was OK, but the view was totally worth the price
Wing Lei at the Wynn: upscale Asian...very good and decor was so cool
Postrio and Canaletto at the Venetian: both had great food and were in St. Mark's square, where there is live entertainment, which made for a cool fake-outdoor feeling.

2) Shows:
Zumanity: pretty cool. Not quite our cup of tea, but it's hard to go wrong with cirque du soleil.
Le Reve: best show I have ever seen. If you ever have a chance to see this, do it. We still haven't figured out how to describe it except to say that it is the most amazing thing we have ever seen.
Penn & Teller: very entertaining. I still can't figure out how they did any of their magic.
Lake of Dreams (Wynn): Made me feel like a awe-filled kid again. definitely see this, too, if you can.
Sirens of TI: a little too pussycat-dollish for me.
Bellagio Fountains: must-see water/light show. This was the last thing we saw in Vegas, and it was a perfect way to end the trip.

3) Sat through a timeshare pitch on Thursday for $100 cash. 3 hours wasted, but the extra money was nice.

4) We stayed at the Venetian, which was definitely the nicest hotel I have ever been to. Our suite overlooked the pool garden, which was just beautiful at night. Though pricey, I am definitely glad that we stayed here.

5) The Grand Canal Shoppes were awesome. Shopping is one of my favorite things to do (though I rarely buy anything). Inside the Venetian, there are just tons of shops surrounding the indoor canal where you can ride in a gondola (which we did...pics hopefully will be posted later). I found a painting I desperately wanted to buy (see it here; looks much better in person). I told Minal that if I won the jackpot, I was going to buy it.

6) Our last night in Vegas, I won the jackpot. :o) It would be imprudent to disclose, but let's just say it was enough to pay for our whole trip, with some left over. It is always a good feeling to leave Vegas with more money than you showed up with.

7) No, I didn't buy the painting. It was just nice knowing that I could have.

8) Leaving was, of course, sad, but we timed it just right. Entering Vegas on Tuesday was perfect b/c the crowds were small. By Saturday morning when we left, the place was a madhouse. Since we aren't the madhouse type anymore, it was good to get out before things got even more crazy.

9) All in all, I can't imagine the trip being any better. The shows, the food, the casinos, the timing, the shopping...all great. The only lag time was the super-long timeshare pitch, but I like to think that it was their money that won me the jackpot. It makes the whole thing a little less annoying.

shanti,
mjh

revisiting obsession, part 1

2008-05-15T09:56:00.003-05:00

I used to be obsessed with music; I miss those days. I now listen to at least 8 hours of talk radio a day, with minor musical breaks sprinkled in (usually preferring my own playlist...bottom of this page). I miss listening to the same song hundreds of times in a row and loving every single play. My buddy Wallace will remember the cassettes we used to have with "When the Children Cry" playing over and over for the full 90-minute tape. Yes, I miss those days.

So I am revisiting some of my old obsessions, and they are surfacing and becoming important once again.

Today's obsession comes from grad school:

"Homesick" by Kings of Convenience
(listen to it here, scroll down about 2/3 of the page)

"I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
But I can't stop listening to the sound
Of two soft voices
Blended in perfection
From the reels of this record that I've found.

Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
Growing increasingly unclear.

I've traveled far and I've burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
All the other options held before me,
Would wither in the light of my plan.

So I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
But there's only one thing on my mind
Searching boxes underneath the counter,
On a chance that on a tape I'd find...
A song for someone who needs somewhere to long for.

Homesick.
Because I no longer know where home is."

shanti,
mjh

Vegas is coming

2008-05-15T07:35:00.002-05:00

Here's the Vegas itinerary:
4 nights at the Venetian;
3 shows: Zumanity, Penn & Teller, le Reve;
2 must-do water attractions: Bellagio fountains, Venetian gondola;
1 big wager on Roulette (Minal says red, I say black).

equals

hopefully one amazing 5th anniversary trip.

Less than a week until take-off; I have never been to Vegas before, so I'm open to any and all suggestions, comments, etc.

shanti,
mjh

congrats to the wife

2008-05-12T10:39:00.002-05:00

for those following along at home, my wife just found out that she PASSED her oral boards! On the first try, too, which is uber-huge. So, after almost 9 years of training, she is finally "official". Time to relax a litte (until she has to recertify in 10 years).

Just wanted to world to know that she rocks.

shanti,
mjh

grammar points up for grabs

2008-05-08T08:07:00.003-05:00

I was horrified last night by my earlier blog post. I was staring at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep, singing the monkey song in my head (yes, I am trying to find a middle ground between the numbers and the words), and I was struck by the realization that I have been party to bad grammar. Shame, shame on me.

10 points for the first person to point out the embarrassing grammar mistake in my interpretation of the monkey song:

"Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, one falls off and now there's three."

shanti,
mjh

123s vs. ABCs

2008-05-07T13:48:00.002-05:00

My wife and I often sing to our daughter; nothing special there. We often disagree on the lyrics to ye olde childrens' songs; again, no big news. And more often than not, we simply make up lyrics as we go along. All was fine...until two nights ago, when we discovered the base-line difference between us two. Who knew that, after 9+ years of dating and almost 5 years of marriage, it would take "Five Little Monkeys" to truly bring to light the different colored glasses through which we see the world.

Here's the scene:
I am drying off and dressing the little one, and my wife launches into "Five Little Monkeys." I'll let you play along. Finish the lyric:

"Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, one falls off and now there's _____."

My very intelligent wife who aced college (honor's program, no less), medical school, and four years of medical residency calmly completes the line: "four".

What!?! I couldn't believe it. Four? Let's try it in a sing-song style:

"Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, one falls off and now there's four."

I can appreciate off-rhyme; I can live with breaks in schemes for attention-grabs and importance. But it's a kid's song, right? Don't we usually stick to the rules for a kid's song?

My version:

"Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, one falls off and now there's three."

See how nicely the rhyme completes itself. It's nothing to write home about, but there's some parallel there. What happened to the other monkey? Well, that's the imagination part of the song. In fact, to really get the little one's mind going, I think it should actually be:

"Five little monkeys sitting in a tree, one falls off and now there's twenty-three."

But then the rhythm is all off. Again...it's a kid's song. Let's keep the rhythm in order, right?

My wife and I have survived differences in race, religion, culture, study habits, shopping techniques, priorities, TV viewing habits, average temperature, etc., but when it comes right down to it...she sides with the numbers, I side with the words.

and on with life.

shanti,
mjh

Nothing to say but Vegas

2008-05-05T07:45:00.003-05:00

So: work is crazy, Lily is getting smarter every day, it's teacher appreciation week at Lily's school, and Minal and I are planning a fifth-anniversary trip to Vegas.

**(Note to my past students: that's a good example of why you hyphenate a compound adjective. Read: trip for our fifth anniversary, not our fifth trip to Vegas to celebrate our anniversary.)**

Nothing more to say b/c of the reasons stated above (especially the foremost). Any Vegas hints/tips/warnings/etc.? Let me know.

shanti,
mjh

new music down below

2008-04-28T14:23:00.002-05:00

In addition to my normal playlist at the bottom of the page, I have added a Glen Phillips show (embedded from archive.org, which, by the way, has thousands and thousands of free live shows). This show is my favorite by far and is my usual listening choice while traveling, walking, mowing the lawn, etc. Basically, it gets a lot of play on my ipod.

Just thought I would share it. There is genius in every one of these songs in various forms, and it makes for a great couple hours of acoustic music.

shanti,
mjh

free textbooks?

2008-04-28T08:25:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I am fascinated these days with two things: publishing and how the industry will fit into our new web-based, instant global community. My interest is more in the realm of consumer publishing than in academic, but I am very interested in what is going on over at Flat World Knowledge. I'll hopefully have time to research this more soon, and will let you know what I think...

shanti,
mjh

creepy on so many levels...

2008-04-27T22:00:00.002-05:00

Let it be known that I find it totally creepy that new advertisements have Wendy (you know, from Wendy's) and van Gogh's self-portrait in motion. It's not enough that I (and the collective "we") have been creeped out for years by advertisers constant need to make animals ("real" animals, not cartoon representations) talk to us, but bringing still-life cultural artifacts to "life"...it's just creepy and against better judgment (not saying that I have said better judgment, but that's beside the current point). I would just rather not have the Wendy's girl eating a wrap or van Gogh needing allergy medication. Just one more reason I should be watching less TV.

Wait, did I just blog? Like the way I used to make fun of other bloggers? Like complaining about a societal issue that is of relative (or actual) insignificance? Like feeling that I need to add to some imaginary cultural discourse? Like "hey, listen to me; i have something important to say to 'the man' " (read: advertisers). Woh, that's weird. I think I need some rest and a resetting of the brain/priorities/identity.

Let's pretend that this post never happened (though, I still find them creepy and am personally demanding that they stop; if they don't, I might just have to keep blogging about it.).

shanti,
mjh

Hey you

2008-04-27T08:49:00.002-05:00

I have been a Pink Floyd fan for many years. Nothing special; there are many of us. I have also been a fan of language/lyrics for many years; again, nothing special. However, listening through "Hey you" last night, I was struck (as I am every time I hear this song) by a particular lyric that strikes me on some very deep level, and I am not exactly sure why.

Simply, "Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone".

I generally find myself living in the world of complex, deep-meaning (or just deep sounding) lyrics. So, I am struck by the simplicity and wonder this Roger Waters lyric. I think it has to have something to do with the intangibility of our current society. 99% of my chosen career deals with the intangible. Though I get advances of the books that I help edit/publish, everything else that I do is electronic, bits/bytes of information and keystrokes, and I am definitely in the majority. The few years that I taught were very tangible: students, books, chalkboards, etc., but I am quite sure that even that level of realism has certainly shifted over the past few years.

Perhaps this lyric is my Siren call, back to a time where life was not more simple (in fact, quite the opposite), but to a time when the manual and physical arose with the sun. A time when I didn't get my skin color by the light of my computer at midnight, but instead chose a career whose lyric was not "hey you, would you email me the specs for our new WYP4P/POD TOCas that is due tomorrow..."

Of course, it is more likely that I have ignored the obvious allusion to Sisyphus, but who's counting...

shanti,
mjh

"now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces, I'll pull out my heart and I'll feed it to anyone..."--"Disintegration", the Cure.