for better or worse...

...I am going to take a couple of weeks away from the blog. Gotta think some things through and figure some stuff out. In the meantime, check out some of my blogging friends:

Irish Rain
Simulate This
Gathering Stones
Three Zero
Heavy Metal Lunch

And, Sally, Britt, Katie, if by some strange fate you ever end up here, I am very sorry for your loss. You are in whatever thoughts and prayers that we have.

shanti,
mjh

Lord of the Dark Lake (and late-night ramblings)

Ever since graduating grad school and leaving its bliss behind (no sarcasm there; i truly loved those days), I constantly regret not reading much anymore. Reading was my life (that, and researching, writing, thinking, stressing, stretching, deconstructing, etc.) for those two years, and I just haven't gotten back on the saddle again.

I am trying again. I moseyed over to my bookcases a couple of weeks ago and picked out Sophocles's "Antigone". It dawned on me that I had never read it. Not sure how it escaped me (or I it), but it was time. It hardly qualified as jumping back on the wagon as you could easily read it in one sitting, but it was a start. Of course, I loved it. How can one live life without occasionally being reminded that "no suffering could be so terrible / as to die for nothing..."?

It was a great start.

Next came a trip to the local library. I was in search of Replay, but, alas, our library did not have it. So, I decided to take a leap and just grab a book off of a random shelf (solely chosen by its cover design, title, and brief excerpt; there's an ex-English-grad student for you). After perusing, I decided on Lord of the Dark Lake by Ron Faust.

I was unfamiliar with his work, but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's basically a rich-and-slightly-insane-person-throws-a-seriously-wicked-party novel, which I totally appreciated and dug on deep level. Not that there is necessarily a genre for this, but I have been interested in such things ever since I read The Food Chain a few years back.

Anyways, imagine my surprise when Faust invokes "Antigone" in his novel. Coincidence is a strange thing.

I think that last sentence was going to be the point of this post, but now I find myself tracing my trek and the circle that I have travelled (which, of course, is another theme in LOTDL).

Let's see: I wrote a paper on Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen and Marquis de Sade (um, don't even try to figure out how that paper went. It's called undergrad fitting very square peg into a hole that doesn't exist in any dimension. And how I got to de Sade is a completely different subject). Anyways, that time in my life led me to TFC, which influenced my decision to read LOTDL, which recalled "Antigone"....hmm....not really a circle is it. More of a sideways "J".

All of that to say that I am back in the reading saddle and would love recommendations. And, yes, it seems that I would be all about that Great Gatsby, but I've read it a few times and never really enjoyed it (sorry Dr. Wright). Perhaps I will give it another shot...but I doubt it.

I think tomorrow I'll go check out another Faust book. Likely, it will be The Blood-Red Sea. It's a subject for another post, but I am also completely and utterly taken by open, deep, easily-lost-in bodies of water.

shanti,
mjh

personal training

I've been thinking a lot lately about personal training of the body/mind. Not in the workout, gym, yoga, way; instead I've been pondering the various abilities that we, through our professions, upbringing, or interests, develop as a kind of faux-instinct.

Fo(u)r example(s):

• my brother can hear a pitch and identify it. Hum a note, he'll tell you it's a G. Listen to your refrigerator drone, he'll pick out a C.
• my wife can spot a "good" vein from across the mall. Put her in a room full of people, and she can rank the people from easiest to hardest intubation simply by looking at their necks.
• my friend can spot and name a typeface anytime, anywhere. Give her a couple of letters, and she knows exactly what family, style, etc.
• an old high-school buddy of mine could spot a four-leaf clover from six feet away (meaning from a standing position).

I mention that I have been pondering, and that is really as far as I have come. No great conclusions, no great epiphanies...just interested and thinking, wondering if such faux-instincts are somewhat pre-programmed and if all, or any, are evolutionarily beneficial (evolutionarily on a one-lifetime scale).

I'm interested to hear if any of you dear readers have such personally-developed instincts. If you want to share, let me know. I think mine comes from spending hours and hours reading/studying/teaching literature and writing/grammar. I can spot a typo a mile away. Give me a page in a book, and, even if I can't see the exact error immediately, I will know that something is amiss. Give me two more moments, and I'll point it out. It's not always the most blessed faux-instinct, and I don't think it is all that unique, but it's mine, nonetheless.

Oh, and I can usually tell you the exact time (well, down to the minute; I haven't mastered seconds yet) even if I haven't seen a clock in hours. I don't know where that one came from.

Chime in if you would like to share or if you have a bubbling-up revelation. I'd love to know what instincts further separate us, making me = me and you = you.

shanti,
mjh

when I was a boy

I'll likely leave the song alone after this post, but for those of you who aren't able to listen to the song (playlist below), I wanted to post the lyrics. I have listened to Dar for years, and, though it would be impossible for me to rank, this is definitely in my top three ("Teen For God" and "February" rounding out that top...at least today).

When I was a Boy -- Dar Williams
I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck.

And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor came outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."

And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in,
they've got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you...

shanti,
mjh

listen up

so, i don't know if anyone out there keeps up with my playlist (bottom of the page), but i do, and i guess that matters. i finally took the time to clean it up a bit. The beauty of project playlist is that you can post/share a playlist and listen to it for free; the downside is that people move/delete their music files all of the time, leading to broken links, etc.

A notable addition is one of my all time favorite songs. i feel kinda bad singling one song out b/c i love every one of them, but if you have never heard "When I was a Boy" by Dar Williams, do yourself a favor, and check it out. i moved it to the top of the list to make it easy for you.

And i have finally put some funk into my playlist. You generally wouldn't know this, but i love funk music. If Funk were running for president, it would be a no-brainer. If Funk were hiring, I'd work for free. Basically, if Funk said to jump off of a bridge, this would be my last blog post. Perhaps I will make a totally funk playlist someday soon, and we can all just chill out and breathe.

For now, however, feel free to hang out and listen to some good music. Just be prepared for whiplash. The playlist has been built over several months and I have gone through several mood shifts in that time.

shanti,
mjh

religion, faith, emotion, etc. pt. 2

my thought process is that if emotion is the enemy of faith, then does that make logic faith's friend? Is it possible that logic can actually lead someone towards faith if emotion is taken out of the equation?

It seems obvious that emotion is definitely a friend of religion; a quick peek into any religious ceremony could confirm this. I do not posit that religion is all emotion, but I do believe that it can play a very significant role in one's religious experience.

However, faith and religion are not interchangeable, at least not in the Christian society that I am familiar with. Religion belongs to the whole, faith to the individual. By believing in/joining with a religion/religious body, one professes to agree with (most) of the common tenants, rules, beliefs, etc. of the larger community. However, faith is personal; it is the place where you believe what you believe regardless of external pressure or voice (in fact, with Christianity, it's a lot about that internal voice).

So, how does personal faith relate to emotion and logic. Or does it? More about this tomorrow...maybe.

shanti,
mjh

religion, faith, emotion, etc.

A couple of nights ago, I met Jesus. Granted it was in a dream, but it was still pretty cool. Here's what went down.

Jesus was in his early 30s, and I was lucky enough to meet him right after he realized who he was. It seemed odd to me that Jesus would spend 30 years not knowing his own heavenly/earthly mission, so I asked him why and how. His answer was more than shocking to me.

"One word", he said. "Emotion."

He then told me that Emotion was the enemy of Faith.

I'm still not sure what to do with this....

shanti,
mjh

dance

i love this:



my wife loves this:

Heidi/Travis bench dance.

which means that we love Mia Michaels.

shanti,
mjh

gummy, gummy, gone...

Today is the first day of my 30-day fast from gummy candy (bears, worms, etc.). It really should have been yesterday, but I found some in my office, and, like a junkie, tore into them. The empty bag is resting on my floor, proving that I didn't even have the decency after devouring them to clean up. To you, dear reader, this test-of-will might not be a big deal; to me, however, this will be a struggle. Keep my and my emotional stability in your thoughts, please.



you know, they don't look all that appetizing up close. Perhaps this oily, fattening picture will help me through.

shanti,
mjh

POD evolution

It's about time someone pulled this together: MagCloud.

Print-on-demand magazines...very cool.

shanti,
mjh