on a wire...

Not only is this how I feel, but it's quite amazing:

God

unChristian

I am reading an interesting new book, unChristian. I don't have it in front of me now, so I won't give the author, ISBN, and all that jazz. You can find more information here and watch a video by the authors here.

The basic gist of the book: the authors conducted research to try and determine what the popular Christian public image is these days; they tried to determine what both insiders and outsiders think about the Church and its members, its message, and its role in overall society.

What makes the book rather interesting is that it takes the data a step further. It is not simply a critical view of modern-day Christians, but instead it first presents the data fairly objectively, then attempts to offer action items (in the form of alternative paths, questions to consider, etc.) designed to rectify the PR problem (evidenced by the collected data). The authors identiry as Christians themselves, and, therefore, they are vested in altering the image of their chosen societal segment.

I have only gotten through the first couple of chapters, but I thought I would mention it as a knee-jerk recommendation, if any of you are looking for something to read/ponder. Not quite beach reading, but it doesn't appear to be too technical, either. Once I get further in, I will surely offer updates.

shanti,
mjh

Emotions

So, I need some emotion-labeling help. Some scenarios:

1) you give up something you love (let's call this "AAA") for something else that you love ("BBB"). You fully recognize that BBB is not only for the better, but for the best. 100% BBB is the best choice, and you are eternally happy with that choice. However, every once and a while, you wish you could have stuck with AAA. What emotion is this? It's not regret, it's not unhappy, it's not envy...what is it?

2) you believe that you really could be an important, famous artist (though deep down you know (1) it's completely untrue and (2) you produce zero art on a yearly basis). It's not quite delusion, it's not quite unearned confidence, it's not envy or jealousy. Could it be unresolved passion? Not really b/c you would think passion would somehow manifest itself...so what is it?

3) you really want to (desperately want to) read more, but you end up watching junk TV most nights. But you really want to read more and are in fact in the middle of three books. But you find yourself plopped in front of an America's Top Model marathon. Obviously, the latter emotion is apathy/laziness/regret, but what is that initial desire? What do you call it when you really want something but do nothing to attain it? ...what is it?

shanti,
mjh

KD Lang

Just want to say that I love her.
Smoothest voice around with a soul to match.

From 1992's Ingenue:

"A thin ice
Covers my soul
My body's frozen and my heart is cold
And still
So much about me is raw
I search for a place to unthaw

Something in me
Broods love into fear
It veils my vision leaves my thoughts unclear
My eyes
From blue turn to gray
Hoping to mask what they say

I've been outside myself for so long
Every feeling I had is close to gone
I've been outside myself for so long

I have been
In a storm of the sun
Basking, senseless to what I've become
A fool to worship just light
When after all, it follows night"--kdl

Friend's book

My friend Wallace has been in Ireland for a few years. Check out his vision/version here: Ireland: through our eyes.

shanti,
mjh

choose your own adventure movies

Another idea that someone should take and run with. Why not create an interactive movie to put some spice in (and create a reason to go back to) the movie theater experience.

The idea is simple. Take Saw, for instance. Have your characters enter into different scenarios where they have to make a decision, then take the decision out of there hands and leave it to the audience. Wire theaters with the old debate team buzzer system (or better yet, make it truly an experience, a la the Apollo. Have the audience vote (via buzzers or just have them vocalize) and the majority rules.

Should we save victim #1 from the tortuous machine? Audience votes "yes" and the story goes in that direction; audience votes "no" and we see a different path. Put about four of these turning point in the movie, and you have a hit (assuming the movie is half-good).

Benefits:
1) People go to the movies; we love innovation, especially when it is interactive;
2) People go back to the movies; hey, I wonder how the movie would change if we voted "yes" instead of "no" this time at pivotal scene #1;
3) People bring other people to the movies; let's get 30 people together so we can swing the vote and ensure that we win the "yes" vote this time.

Not only would this be a win for the movie theaters and production companies, it has the potential to beat the DVD releases. How much more fun would it be to interact and vote with the masses, trying and hoping that our vote wins instead of just sitting at home clicking through the DVD on your own?

Saw people, call me. Sure it would be an investment, but there would also be a payoff, for both of us. I'd really like a reason to go back to the movies.

shanti,
mjh

Guilty confession

So, one of my most guiltiest of pleasures is my choice in reading materials. When someone asks me to list my favorite books, I can rattle off titles with the best of them. If nothing else, my English degrees have exposed me to some amazing history, philosophy, sociology, pirituality/etc. All through the pens of the masters.

However, the one collection that I consistently leave out of the list, the book(s) that I read more often than any other, is Invictus. To those in the know, yes, I am speaking of my high school year books.

shame, shame.

But I love them. Pages upon pages of senior quotes are where I spend most of my Invictus time. Seeing what 18-year-olds deem important or brilliant or poignant is endlessly fascinating to me. And the fact that we were all given that opportunity to speak out and leave our mark in a few words baffles me.

I spend most of my time with the '95 issue, since those were my classmates. Sure, there are the typical Bible quotes, shout-outs, Star Wars quotes, and silliness, but every once and a while someone's chosen quote makes me regret never knowing them. In a school of over 2000 kids, you must find your niche. I had a couple, but my circles rarely included Heads, Ghosts, Tech Kids, Latin Club Kids, Theater, Jocks, etc. The occasional representative would be there, but, for the most part, I only knew them out of their element.

So, these quotes are my one moment (admittedly, a terrible way to judge people) to hear them, trapped at 18. And so, most every day, I read some.

To David Heim, Charles Presley III, Rob Rawlinson, Esther Pencola, Kris Karr, Julie Chatterjee, Margaret Albers, and many more, we should have done coffee.

shanti,
mjh

Ultimate Machine

Claude Shannon's very cool, creepy machine:

From http://lightbucket.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/claude-shannon-really-ought-to-be-more-famous/:

Shannon introduced powerful, simplifying, enormously useful new concepts that transformed electronics and communications. For his own amusement, though, he could also go to the opposite extreme. He built an elaborate mechanical contraption called the “Ultimate Machine”, whose sole function was to switch itself off – it is perhaps the most perfectly pointless machine conceivable. I’ll let Arthur C. Clarke explain it:

“Nothing could be simpler. It is merely a small wooden casket, the size and shape of a cigar box, with a single switch on one face. When you throw the switch, there is an angry, purposeful buzzing. The lid slowly rises, and from beneath it emerges a hand. The hand reaches down, turns the switch off and retreats into the box. With the finality of a closing coffin, the lid snaps shut, the buzzing ceases and peace reigns once more. The psychological effect, if you do not know what to expect, is devastating. There is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing – absolutely nothing – except switch itself off.”

Arthur C. Clarke, Voice Across the Sea

shanti,
mjh

Secret Senses

So, a little over three years ago, something epic happened in our home. When my wife and I moved to Virginia, I decided it was time to integrate our books. To someone who does not hold his/her book collection near and dear to his/her heart, this might not sound important. But, to me, it was a commitment, a literal joining together of two lives.

Fast forward to three days ago when a new chapter began in our family. I, for some truly unknown reason, wandered downstairs and chose a book to read...from my wife's collection. (Sure, the books all populate the same shelves, but we aren't ignorant to the fact that we still have "yours" and "mine" books.) What did I choose? "The Hundred Secret Senses" by Amy Tan.

I must say that I have been pleasantly surprised so far. Not that I didn't know that Tan was a great writer, but knowing and experiencing are always different things. I am still very much at the beginning of the book, but I have really enjoyed her style/language/fluidity so far. I am not a very quick reader (primarily due to time constraints; having a 14-month old will really devour your free time), but I have already felt the familiar Siren song, drawing me back to read a handful of pages whenever I can find the time.

If nothing else in the book speaks to me, I have already found the gem that I so desperately seek in all of the books that I crack open:

"And then Kwan told me how our father caught a disease of too many good dreams. He could not stop thinking about riches and an easier life, so he became lost, floated out of their lives, and washed away his memories..."

shanti,
mjh

breaking up is hard to do

I think it's about time to break up with Myspace...again. I just haven't figured out how to do it this time. Last time, it was very sudden for both of us. One morning, I just decided it was time to end the relationship, and after several "are you sure" screens (absolutely the worst part of the breakup process...yes, i'm sure; yes, I have thought about it; yes, this is for the best, etc.), it was over. We parted ways, and I felt good about it; no harm done.

However, predictably, I came crawling back about two months later. And, for better or worse, she took me back. No groveling needed.

I think this time I am going to go the immature middle/highschool-boy route; you know, have her break up with me. This always seems easier, at least in theory. So, my plan is to find the least offensive term of service that I can violate, let her find out, she breaks up with me, and *wallah* it's over. Yes, and unfortunately, I have some experience in breaking up this way.

So, now I just need to figure out how to do it. I am not an offensive-post kind of guy. I'd rather not tarnish my own name just to get dumped. There has to be a much more innocuous way of doing it. If I figure something out, and if my quest to get dumped works, I'll let you know.

It's not you; it's me,
mjh

Separation

.....if i could only separate myself from myself,
she used to whisper,
i heard it through the walls;
.....if only i could separate myself from myself,
.....sins of the flesh corrupt
.....the holiest of souls,
.....sins of the flesh fester
.....all of the good that is within
i listened to her whispers
night after night after night after
the sun would go down
.....the soul, not the body;
.....the spirit, not the flesh;
.....the immaterial is the matter,
.....is all that matters;
.....the material part of me should not be the part of me,
whispers that went on for days,
that seemed like months,
that seemed like years,
until she succeeded.
one night a wail took the place
of the whispers,
shook the place
where the whispers used to strip
in the dark;
i heard the separation,
i heard the desperation
in her voice;
the spirit went free
from
the body corrupted.

and now she visits and whispers
something different;
there is no speak of holy,
only unwhole;
there is no hint of peace,
only of a piece mislaid;
she seems now to be missing
more than ever before;
she still lusts, but has no mouth
she still hates, but has no hands
she still burns, but cannot burn
she still hurts, but feels no pain;
she is only separated
from the sins of her flesh,
which she loved deeply;
she is only apart
from the baseness of her body,
which satisfied her spirit;
she is simply
corrupt,
with nothing left to blame.--mjh

If you build it

I think someone should start a cool new business where guys (and gals) can build stuff. You know those meal-assembly centers (i.e., Super Suppers, Make Take n Bake) where people can go, make meals, and take them home? Well, I want a place where I can go and build a bookcase or a table. Someone needs to purchase all of those tools that I don't have room for (table saws, sanders, etc), stock a bunch of wood and hardware, have a small library of plans/diagrams, and charge me a small fee to play with building. Make me sign a legal form saying that I will be careful and won't sue, and just turn me loose with the big machinery. If anyone starts this kind of store, let me know, and I'll sign up. I would love to get out of the house for a few hours and come home smelling of wood and covered in bandaids.

shanti,
mjh

Everything I Own for your ears

Many thanks to scooter for posting an mp3 of Pegtop's "Everything I Own" (the lyrics can be found in my blog archive). I have added it to my playlist (very bottom of page; second song) or you can hear it here: http://www.thedoor.org/ministries/worship/music.asp.

shanti,
mjh

Crow's Theology

"Crow realized God loved him-
Otherwise, he would have dropped dead.
So that was proved.
Crow reclined, marvelling, on his heart-beat.

And he realized that God spoke Crow-
Just existing was His revelation.

But what Loved the stones and spoke stone?
They seemed to exist too.
And what spoke that strange silence
After his clamour of caws faded?

And what loved the shot-pellets
That dribbled from those strung-up mummifying crows?
What spoke the silence of lead?

Crow realized there were two Gods-

One of them much bigger than the other
Loving his enemies
And having all the weapons."--TH

Senses

Favorites:
Taste--Gummy Bears
Touch--Burnt toast on my tongue
Smell--I'm a sucker for Happy
Sight--Royal Flush
Sound--Patty Griffin's voice

*Disclaimer. I had to take my daughter out of the equation, since almost all of these would involve her, and that would just be too sappy for a Monday morning.