reinforcement

It was a hard decision this past week, but my wife and I changed our daughter to a new pediatrician. The reasons were valid and solid, though we were unsure how the newness would sit with our three-year-old; she, like many her age, cherishes repetition and order. However, through much preparation and visual aids, and despite all of our nightmarish fears, Lily acted the champ. She followed directions; she happily jumped through the proverbial hoops of a well-child check-up, and she never once seemed distraught over the change in venue or face.

The cause of this angelic appointment is really unknown. Was it the pep talks; was it the new toys; was it the promise of a treat? There is no way of knowing. The result, however, of this unforeseen event is very clear: positive reinforcement (for us). Not that we should change Dr's on a yearly basis, but that we, as parents, made the right decision. This parental positive reinforcement does not surface often, so it comes highly prized. And it feels good.

Which leads me to consider, again, the opportunity for and effects of positive reinforcement in the corporate world. I have blogged about this before, and I still believe that presence is perhaps the single most important form of reinforcement that exists. Surely, presence alone is often not enough; that is why we have bonuses, recognition, awards. However, even those somewhat more tangible boosts are nothing without the foundational sense of company and of belonging.

Sending me presents reminds me that I am here; sending me your presence reminds me that you are here, too; that I am not alone.

So for those of you who stop in and read this blog, I offer my thanks; multiple thanks to those who take the time to post a comment. Your presence, whether I know you are here or not, is of utmost importance to me and to the enterprise as a whole. Obviously, reflecting back on this post, I would prefer to know that you were here (just say 'wasuuuuup' in the comment box); however, even if you do not acknowledge your presence here on my blog, take the time to acknowledge yourself to someone else today. Better than that, reveal your presence to someone who might have completely forgotten your nearness, your actualization (as an HBE, I know this disconnect all too well).

In my previous post on presence, I called on my readers to "take the time today to remind those who rely on us, those we rely on, those we support and are supported by, that we are here"; today, however, perhaps relying on proximity, whether physical or spiritual, is not enough. Today, why not think of someone that you have not been present with for quite some time, someone long lost or simply far away, and be present with him/her.

And do it within your company walls; that's harder, and you need a challenge. Make a phone call to that guy you used to work with; shoot an email out to check on a distant co-worker; hug a blogger. :o)

Oftentimes, absence is misunderstood; presence, however, rarely is. Be present, not only with yourself, not only with your clique, but also with the 'others'.

And if your presence does not motivate, if the relationship is immune to reinforcement simply though reminded companionship, go ahead and offer a Hershey's Kiss; it works for my daughter.

shanti,
mjh